VCP: Calm Waters: A Buddhist-Catholic Driver's Lessons on Faith & Family.

Vance Crowe [00:00:04] Welcome back to the podcast. I'm glad you're here Today. We're gonna have an impromptu podcast. This was completely unintentional, but I got into an Uber on my way to the airport and the man that greeted me had a huge smile and was ready to talk. By the time we left my neighborhood, I had pulled out my phone, set it on the console and hit record so that that way I would be able to capture the incredible insight that this man had. Our conversation started off by me making an observation that he had a crucifix and the picture of a man looked like a Catholic priest on his window. I asked him about that and very quickly the conversation evolved into a conversation about Vietnam and the Communists and how they had pushed out the Catholics and the relationship in a country between Buddhists and Catholics. From there, our conversation evolves into one of how those values that he'd learned in his countries were applied to the way he raised his children. As the father of young children, I am very open to understanding how can you raise your children so that they are happy, disciplined, have respect for the family, and really can see a bigger picture around them. And from this conversation, I can tell you that in the four days I've had, since I recorded it, it has changed the way I've interacted with my kids. The things he told me about the stone hitting the water and the ripples that you'll hear in just a little bit.

Vance Crowe [00:01:35] I've already applied to my life and I can tell you has made my interaction with my two daughters richer and fuller. So I hope you enjoyed this conversation and you're able to look past his deep accent and the amount of background noise. Because we were in a car, I tried to clean up the audio as much as I could. But this particular podcast is gonna take a little bit of effort on your part, but I think you'll find that it's more than worth it because you're going to get to hear how two people from completely different cultures can have an in-depth conversation and how much energy can be shared between us no matter how different we are. I'm gonna get to that in just a moment. But if you are a person that's thinking about trying to improve your communication skills, you wanna be able to have this impromptu conversation that leads to more than just conversations about sports or other surface things you want deeply understand how to interact with other people. Then go to vance crow.com and click on the interest based communications course. This is a course I develop to help logical people figure out how can I express myself better. I do this both with individuals that sign up for a class, and I do it for corporations where we can bring in your sales team, your science team, or even your communications team to come together and think about how do we get ideas to flow between us and the other people that need to hear them, and how can we make sure that we are available and understanding and opening enough to understand what they have to say.

Vance Crowe [00:03:08] If you're interested, go to vance crow.com and look up interest-based communications. Alright, let's head to this impromptu conversation with Mr. Thomas Nguyen. Were a lot of other people in the area Buddhists

Thomas Nguyen [00:03:23] Before 1975.

Vance Crowe [00:03:25] Ah,

Thomas Nguyen [00:03:26] Okay. But after 1975, when companies take over Vietnam, normal religion, Catholic, you know, they are not, they don't have a release. They don't trust anybody. No religion, non-religion.

Vance Crowe [00:03:40] And if you had a cross hanging up in your house, what would they have done?

Thomas Nguyen [00:03:44] No, but after that, in 75, you know, they change a lot. They give you freedom. You can be a Catholic, you can be a Budd, or you can be a Baptist. You can be be, they don't care what the religion you are, they don't care. After 1975, they changed everything. But before that, oh my God, if they know you Catholic, we chop the head off. I tell you, you, they put the cross. Jesus crossed un row. If you don't step over, they cut your head off. I'm sorry to say that, but that's,

Vance Crowe [00:04:19] But so what did people do? How did they go? Did they still go to church in secret or no? No,

Thomas Nguyen [00:04:24] No, no, no. Hide. They hide. They, they pray in the house.

Vance Crowe [00:04:27] They prayed in their house. Yes.

Thomas Nguyen [00:04:29] No church. No. 1945 to 1954.

Vance Crowe [00:04:35] So what hap did all of the priests get killed? What happened? Were there other priests that went into hiding and pretended like they weren't priests or were they all rounded up?

Thomas Nguyen [00:04:43] No, they just stay in there, in the, in the building, in the house, you know, in the Catholic area. But you cannot make the mass in the church totally north.

Vance Crowe [00:04:54] Wow.

Thomas Nguyen [00:04:55] Totally.

Vance Crowe [00:04:56] How many years was that?

Thomas Nguyen [00:04:58] 1945. Four. It's nine years.

Vance Crowe [00:05:01] And when people couldn't be Catholic, so they went to school, did they learn about communism in school? Yes. What did they tell you about, or what, what were they saying about communism? Why was it good?

Thomas Nguyen [00:05:12] You know, it is last time it's my parents, not my, my age.

Vance Crowe [00:05:17] Oh, okay.

Thomas Nguyen [00:05:18] I am, I born in 1960. You know,

Vance Crowe [00:05:21] You got a thick accent, but your English is good. Thank

Thomas Nguyen [00:05:24] You very much, sir. I am, I born in 1960, but 1960 in South Vietnam is right on Clayton Road using the right leg freedom.

Vance Crowe [00:05:34] Was that what the US was the side us was fighting on?

Thomas Nguyen [00:05:37] Yes. The US be over there. You know, we have a freedom from the time I was born, you know, but when my parent little kid, they, they, they put a communism in the, in, in the head. They say, don't believe God, don't believe what God don't have up there. Don't believe them. They lied to your guy. My dad tell me, you know, my dad tell me, they don't let anybody have a release, I tell you. But after 1954

Vance Crowe [00:06:10] South Vietnam, they divided North Vietnam, south Vietnam, you know, south Vietnam, we have a freedom country. I am not Korean and South

Thomas Nguyen [00:06:21] Korean. You know, when I was born about five years old, when I kindergarten, my, my, my parents sent me go to a Catholic school.

Vance Crowe [00:06:33] Oh, you missed the turn.

Thomas Nguyen [00:06:34] Oh,

Vance Crowe [00:06:38] You can go straight. You can keep going. It's okay. Keep talking with, all right. Yeah. This is very interesting to me. When, when you were on the, the ca, how many people in Vietnam were Catholic? Was it a lot of people? Most people, not very many. 40%. 40%. Yeah.

Thomas Nguyen [00:07:00] 40%, you know, is, I'm sorry, 40% Catholic, 30% bud and 10% military, 10% Baptist. And they don't believe in it. They, they just, the religion, they believe grandparents. Michael, very tough. I tell you, a lot of religion, Catholic bully, Baptist medalist, and one no name.

Vance Crowe [00:07:31] Do they get along or do they fight?

Thomas Nguyen [00:07:34] They get along. They

Vance Crowe [00:07:35] Get along. What, what do, how are Buddhists to be? Do, are they the same as you? Are they different in business?

Thomas Nguyen [00:07:44] I hope I don't make you feel, no.

Vance Crowe [00:07:45] Okay. I'm very interested in hearing these. This I'm and learning. Please.

Thomas Nguyen [00:07:50] I, I tell you, I believe Buddhi, I'm sorry, more than Catholic. Believe me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say that. I'm real Catholic. My grandparent Catholic, my parent Catholic, and I grow up in a Catholic school, you know, but I tell you, the Budd religion, they tell you true life. True life.

Vance Crowe [00:08:18] And what does that mean

Thomas Nguyen [00:08:20] Mean when you get mad? Me, right? Catholic people, they talk back to you. I fight back to you. Right? But the bully, they take you when to get back to tell me Tom, my name Tom. Tom, you are stupid. You know what the bull, what the bully is. They say they put their head down and they keep silent. They don't talk back to you.

Vance Crowe [00:08:42] So they're easier to get along with.

Thomas Nguyen [00:08:45] No serious. I from now, I hope God, you know, they'll get mad. Me, but I believe, and I follow the Buddhist life, modern Catholic life. I'm sorry to say that, but not for truth. Because after I hear some Bible from Buddhist, you know, they tell, they give me my soul, my heart come down a lot. No,

Vance Crowe [00:09:14] I say example. Okay, example. Before, when I was young,

Thomas Nguyen [00:09:19] I am not go to the bully church. You know, when my wife or my kid make my car a DI say example. When they, he give me my car, I get mad and I talk back, work, okay? But now anything happen, I go to my, my car and I, I read the Bible, Buddhist Bible and my heart come down, my blood come down, believe me.

Vance Crowe [00:09:50] So it gives you a way to think about things.

Thomas Nguyen [00:09:53] Yes. And one more thing I tell you Catholic, I don't like, I don't like the people. I'm sorry to say that, but I go to the Judge Catholic judge I am not happy about. So

Vance Crowe [00:10:06] What don't you like about the people?

Thomas Nguyen [00:10:09] You know what, the people go to the church. The church keep talking. They talking or they do something else. Something. But they look on the phone, you know. But the Budy judge, when you go,

Vance Crowe [00:10:24] Youre fully immersed.

Thomas Nguyen [00:10:25] You know, my totally clear, just Bible put it by, you know, you don't talk, you don't do the phone.

Vance Crowe [00:10:36] What do they do with children?

Thomas Nguyen [00:10:38] Children? Same. Because they grow up from the kids. They grow up. They, they very cool Catholic kid. Very high hyper. Talk back with your parents. I'm sorry. Talk back with your parents or talk. They fight each other, but the bully kid you never seen. They fight. I tell you, they never, they they, they, they fight. And you know what? They don't kill any anymore.

Vance Crowe [00:11:07] But doesn't that make them weak if they don't know how to fight?

Thomas Nguyen [00:11:11] No, don't say that. They are very strong. They have good comfort. Oh my god, no.

Vance Crowe [00:11:16] Okay.

Thomas Nguyen [00:11:17] The mean they don't fight because they don't want to make another people upset them not to thing serious. If you like to talk with the put it Bible, you'll see how you check. You change a lot. I tell you. You don't get math easy. Everything easy. You know what? They come very come very cool to see Kungfu Chinese Kungfu movie.

Vance Crowe [00:11:58] Yes, you

Thomas Nguyen [00:11:58] See the people jet like this. But they are very strong. You take energy from the feet go up the hand. And when they fire, you know, and kill people using, if somebody give them trouble. Do you think

Vance Crowe [00:12:12] An American could be a Buddhist? Because it sounds like you need a culture around you to make that possible. Yes, sir.

Thomas Nguyen [00:12:22] They don't American life. I'm sorry. I know you are from, you grow from this country. When I tell you your country have too much freedom.

Vance Crowe [00:12:34] Too much freedom.

Thomas Nguyen [00:12:35] Too much freedom.

Vance Crowe [00:12:36] What freedoms do they have that they shouldn't have?

Thomas Nguyen [00:12:40] I tell my country for too, no freedom, everything

Vance Crowe [00:12:44] Rule law.

Thomas Nguyen [00:12:46] That's it. I tell you get thought about with weeks ago, right?

Vance Crowe [00:12:50] Yes.

Thomas Nguyen [00:12:51] My country, they don't put the killer guy in the jail. They said whole family.

Vance Crowe [00:12:59] Oh,

Thomas Nguyen [00:13:00] Yes sir, that's for true.

Vance Crowe [00:13:03] So that way more people are accountable to each other. That's

Thomas Nguyen [00:13:06] Why they scared. They don't do bad thing. You know, if my brother do, do something wrong, kill somebody, government, somebody like Charlie Kirk, they come to get my dad, my mom, my sister, all the family.

Vance Crowe [00:13:21] No,

Thomas Nguyen [00:13:22] No. Three days later get the lie and ding, dinging, they kill you. So

Vance Crowe [00:13:29] How do people operate? You must be terrified all the time.

Thomas Nguyen [00:13:35] You cannot, you don't have any idea with the government. You cannot have a question with the government. You cannot.

Vance Crowe [00:13:43] And you think that's better.

Thomas Nguyen [00:13:45] I don't think about that better. But this country have too much freedom. Like I tell you one thing.

Vance Crowe [00:13:50] So you're just describing, there's two sides of this. And the US is too far over on the freedom side. Oh,

Thomas Nguyen [00:13:55] Like you are a teacher. I say example, like you are a teacher, right? Yeah. People are still do something wrong. My country, they take the kid go up every student in the class, put the needle out in the floor, put the needle out in the floor,

Vance Crowe [00:14:13] Okay?

Thomas Nguyen [00:14:15] And put the hand out like this. And they put a stake, big stake like this, you know, a two or three times like that. But if this country, you do that, you get trouble with your parent.

Vance Crowe [00:14:29] Oh yeah, you could never do that.

Thomas Nguyen [00:14:31] Never. You can never do that. That's why the student grow up in Vietnam. They are very respect teacher here. If you are a teacher, you go outside. If you saw the student, somebody say hello, hello teacher in my country, if you put your hand

Vance Crowe [00:14:51] Like that to get big trouble,

Thomas Nguyen [00:14:53] But you fold your hand like this and put your head down.

Vance Crowe [00:14:56] Oh yes. Not allowed to draw attention. Trying to,

Thomas Nguyen [00:15:01] Oh, and like my country education, they take the kid, never talk back with the parent. Like I say, example, if you see the dog, right? You say that's the cat. So kid zi the mouth, they cannot say no, that that's not the cat. That's the dog. Even whatever you say kid, zip like this. Don't open the mouth.

Vance Crowe [00:15:33] Did you raise your, did you have children?

Thomas Nguyen [00:15:35] I do the same

Vance Crowe [00:15:36] Here. You do the same Here I do the same here.

Thomas Nguyen [00:15:39] So my son, my daughter, I have three kids before they go out the house, they much to fold the hand and say that I go to work. Then I go to school, put the hand down, don't put the hand up. Talk with Debbie. No. And mom, no.

Vance Crowe [00:15:55] Do you still have a warm relationship with them? Do you, do they sit on your lap and you read to them?

Thomas Nguyen [00:15:59] Very good, very good. My daughter, 23 years old, she still sits on my lap. We are very close. But I talk with my kid. I say, why they do that? Because I want to go outside. If you saw some people order do to do the same, put the hand out, put for handout. He said put hand down, say good morning. Or you want to speak with Vietnam language the best you can, but very difficult. I cannot control about the language because they stay in the school more. They stay with me. You know, even to speak English, to put their head down. They will want to them.

Vance Crowe [00:16:33] They do, they go to an American school?

Thomas Nguyen [00:16:36] Yes, sir.

Vance Crowe [00:16:37] So what happens if they talk back to you? If they don't want to bow when they go to leave the house?

Thomas Nguyen [00:16:42] I don't have no problem.

Vance Crowe [00:16:44] You don't have that problem?

Thomas Nguyen [00:16:45] I don't, I don't have a problem with my, my kid. My kid. I say I, I, I tell you. He say, daddy cannot go to, I have a homecoming. Can I go there? I say no after I say no. They keep silent. Don't ask why I cannot go. Don't ask dad, please let me go. When I say no, that mean dad don't ask me again. That dad, you know, I'm not abuse my kid. I love my kid along. They still, yeah,

Vance Crowe [00:17:17] But you have that power. It.

Thomas Nguyen [00:17:19] I suddenly still put his hand on my shoulder. I kid 37 years old, 23 years old. They still sit right here, say, dad, can I sit? They say, yes you can.

Vance Crowe [00:17:31] When she wants to get married, how will that work? Will the boy, will the man come to you to talk?

Thomas Nguyen [00:17:37] Of course. My my own daughter, what I remember, she got married 15 years ago. She not sit or stand talk. She put her and she say, mom and dad, I just let you know. And I ask her a question. Can I have a boyfriend? Her husband is a pharmacist. When my daughter work, start to work, pharmacy step in. You know, her husband takes her to do homework. That's the reason they connect together and they marry. And I, I asked her, who is he? He said he's my, my manager in the pharmacy worry. I asked him American, she say American. She very scared when she talk with me like that.

Vance Crowe [00:18:31] She told you she's gonna marry an American?

Thomas Nguyen [00:18:33] Yeah, she marry an American. I don't mind. I don't mind. Because they get married with her husband, not with me.

Vance Crowe [00:18:40] Yeah. One

Thomas Nguyen [00:18:40] Day I'm dying. She have a, her old life, you know, I don't mind at all. She can marry with any country. I don't mind. But I, I expect guy back down should be good.

Vance Crowe [00:18:55] And he was a pharmacist?

Thomas Nguyen [00:18:57] Yes, sir. And I say, okay, it would help me. Two need to bring here one day. Let me see. I want to see first. I, I just, I don't trust my ear. I just, I just my eye only, you know.

Vance Crowe [00:19:14] Are they Catholic? Did they get married in the Catholic church? Yes, sir. He was Catholic? Yes,

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:18] Sir. I'm very happy with him. He's sometime, he say win. I say don't call me win. You marry with my my daughter. You should become dad.

Vance Crowe [00:19:32] He, he calls you Dad,

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:33] You should be call me your dad. You should not call my name win. Like, that's not good. I don't like it. And he say, see, I'm scared. Fucking God.

Vance Crowe [00:19:45] Do you get along with him? Well,

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:47] Very well.

Vance Crowe [00:19:47] Do you see him very often?

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:49] Very often.

Vance Crowe [00:19:51] What do they have kids?

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:53] Yes, sir.

Vance Crowe [00:19:54] So you're a grandfather?

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:55] Yes, sir. Oh,

Vance Crowe [00:19:57] What's that like?

Thomas Nguyen [00:19:59] I love my grandkids. I tell you, I love grandkid. My country have a tradition. Every Saturday, mom and dad go steak with steak, with barbecue, with, with Vietnam food, with American food, you know, come to family every Sunday. Eat, eat and talk together.

Vance Crowe [00:20:24] Yes, we do that in my family. Every Sunday.

Thomas Nguyen [00:20:26] Yes,

Vance Crowe [00:20:27] You have to.

Thomas Nguyen [00:20:28] Yes, sir.

Vance Crowe [00:20:29] A family is only who comes together, who sees each other.

Thomas Nguyen [00:20:32] And everybody mutually part to me what to do for the last week. What good, what bad. If you do something no good. You want to prepare next, next week. I don't want to hear again. I don't want to hear again.

Vance Crowe [00:20:46] What kind of thing could they do that would be not good? What would they say?

Thomas Nguyen [00:20:50] No, sometime they say, they say they get met with a friend or, or my daughter and my sister-in-law get fighting. You know, I say, tell me what's wrong. Why you gonna get fighting? Tell me.

Vance Crowe [00:21:02] They would tell you that they had had a fight. Yes.

Thomas Nguyen [00:21:04] They tell me,

Vance Crowe [00:21:06] Oh my. And, and are they fair to each other?

Thomas Nguyen [00:21:10] Very.

Vance Crowe [00:21:11] And what is your advice? How do you resolve it?

Thomas Nguyen [00:21:13] And I talk with my daughter, my, my, my daughter. I say Theresa, her name is Theresa. Theresa. You, what do you feeling when you make some people mad? If somebody make you mad, are you happy or are you upset? She say, I, of course I'm upset then. Okay, if you say you upset when you make some, somebody make you mad. Somebody, you, you should not make somebody mad. Like that should be sweet lady. Women, I tell you like roses, like rose the roast, they smell it. They, they spoil them. You know, women like a roast. So you should be good wife, good girl. Okay. You grow up with mom. What mom take you? You should be like your mom, my wife. Very sweet. Very sweet. Turn on

Vance Crowe [00:22:09] Terminal access road. Does your daughter work?

Thomas Nguyen [00:22:12] Yes. She's a pharmacist.

Vance Crowe [00:22:13] Pharmacist too? Yeah. She's trained on main term

Thomas Nguyen [00:22:16] Departure drive. She's pharmacist. My son, he's a doctor. My daughter, the baby wants see in the school for the baby doctor. Now, two more years in graduation. My baby one.

Vance Crowe [00:22:32] Are they happy?

Thomas Nguyen [00:22:34] They're very happy. They say thank you them. You believe that I come here 1980 until today I talk with you. Only new year, my day off. Even Christmas day. I work. I tell you,

Vance Crowe [00:22:49] You work

Thomas Nguyen [00:22:50] Seven day a week. 364 a year.

Vance Crowe [00:22:54] You need, why do you need to, why do you work so much?

Thomas Nguyen [00:22:56] I I support them. I pay tuition. Tuition for them.

Vance Crowe [00:23:00] Oh,

Thomas Nguyen [00:23:01] I don't want to get a student loan. You know?

Vance Crowe [00:23:03] Did you feel like you had to give up a lot of time with them to be able to do that?

Thomas Nguyen [00:23:07] I'm very happy. Something like you find a tree, like apple tree. You know, you put a good, you know, sorry for them. And they give you big apple. Same thing like me. I feed them good now. They give me good education. They give me back. No my give respect. They, when they talk with you, they never talk by finger. They all like this arm. My suddenly put his hand on the bike. They talk with you like that. Which some people older than him. I say never put the finger point to somebody else. I cut the finger off. If you do that, I talk to my, my son, my daughter. Each time she get married with her husband, my son-in-law say, Hey Teresa, you remember what your dad say? And my, my daughter come down right away. She come down right away. She come down right away because she don't wanna get trouble with me. If next Sunday, my son-in-law report to me, Teresa, do something. No good. No Christmas gift, nobody birthday gift. I tell you,

Vance Crowe [00:24:08] This was an incredible conversation.

Thomas Nguyen [00:24:11] I am very happy to talk with you.

Vance Crowe [00:24:12] You are, you are like, like a priest or something. It's your, your ability to explain your culture is very profound.

Thomas Nguyen [00:24:21] I hope if you get time, go Google, go to Google, you know, to read a Buddhist bible, you can compare. How different is Catholic serious?

Vance Crowe [00:24:32] I've never looked at it. Actually

Thomas Nguyen [00:24:34] You should be

Vance Crowe [00:24:35] The, the Buddhist Bible. I've never even seen it. I don't even know what it's called.

Thomas Nguyen [00:24:40] No, they have English language too.

Vance Crowe [00:24:41] Okay.

Thomas Nguyen [00:24:42] Yeah. They tell you, they say, okay, you see the river with the water, right? You take the piece of stone, you dump in there and the water they pump up, right? Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:24:55] What

Thomas Nguyen [00:24:56] Happened after, after they come back normal again. That's why somebody give you mad. Like I give, I do something stupid with you. You just keep silent. You keep silent. Doesn't mean you scare me or you lose or you lose confidence or you keep or whatever. But I say something happen like this. You give me the bottle of time. Here, I, I give you the bottle of water. I don't accept it. Of course, this bottle come back to you, right When you get back, when I get hurt or talk, do something back with you. You don't accept it. You just keep silent. What happened? Everything trouble I try to give to you. They come back to me. You understand what I'm saying?

Vance Crowe [00:25:38] Yes. Yes. That's a very profound thought.

Thomas Nguyen [00:25:40] Yeah. The same thing. I give you the flower. You say, no, Tom, I thank you. I don't need, I don't want, I don't want to accept your flower. Of course, the the flower I try give to you, they come back to me. The same thing. When I try to do bad something to you, you say, Tom, I don't wanna fight with you. You misunderstand. You don't understand what you talking about about that with me. So better thing. I'm sorry Tom. I have a go and you walk away. Anything I try to push on your, I want to do, I want to talk back with you or I do or try to do stupid thing with you. When you walk away, everything, they come back to me. That's why I get hurt by myself. You don't get hurt at all. Normally you get hurt or ran. You tell me, Tom, you stupid driver. But I don't say anything. Say I'm sorry, Mr. Mr. Van, I'm sorry. I try the best I can. I just get cool like that. What happened? Everything. You get mad to me. They come back to your body, right? I don't hurt at all. Or I'm sorry. You are married. Yes. When your wife, she get mad to you, you say, okay, whatever you say, you go, go out, drink the beer or during your, that's why she yell and she talk mad by herself. What happened? Later on, you feel you very peaceful because when she get mad to you and, and you get mad back to her, maybe we can control the mouth, you know, we can control it. We talk same bad work.

Thomas Nguyen [00:27:12] Like she talk to you, you just keep silent and you walk away. You say, okay, you can say whatever you can, but I'm sorry, I don't want to here, but let me go somewhere else. You can drive somewhere or you can take the glass of beer or glass of wine. Go backyard. You ring by yourself later on. Maybe your wife say, oh, I get mad. My husband van, maybe I'm drunk. It's not like that. Why? We think about that. She gets hurt by herself, not you. But if you cannot control your body, your mind, you say you are stupid too. Something that, I'm sorry, you say that. Somebody say, I am stupid. Tom, you stupid. I say you stupid. No, not, not good. No. Keep silent. And the people tell me stupid later on they will know I am not stupid. They stupid by themselves. Don't fight all them thing all way. We are winner. We are stronger. I can fight you tall. I'm black male, TaeKwonDo, and they will fight. I am serious. I'm not joking. I'm not lying. I tell you, I can fight with the, I can, I can, I can take care of two people easily. Two or three people easily. Even they have a stick. I don't need nothing. But I say, okay, I don't wanna make you hurt. It should be walk away. My, my wife, she own beauty salon shop to black girl, come to my nail shop, get done. My wife, she work for three hours.

Thomas Nguyen [00:28:43] They work out. They don't tell you nothing. And she call me and I say, why? What, what do you feeling if somebody like you are, if you are take, you work three hours for somebody and they walk away, they don't pay you. What are you feeling? He say, fuck you. I'm sorry. He say, fuck you don't touch me. I say, I know I don't touch you. I just ask you a question. One, not sugar. Call one friend or whatever. They come, they say, fuck Chino guy. I say, I'm not Chinese. I'm Vietnamese, but I'm yellow skin. But I tell you, we work here. We pay tax, pay. We do exactly what American jogi do. I say, fuck you, I'm sorry. They say, fuck you. Come back to your country. I say, don't say again one more time. You want fight. I say, I don't want make your guy hurt, but if you request, I will give you a lesson. I beat them, you know, four or five kicked a mile and call police. No, I'm serious. I knock them down. They say, I say, don't stand up. Please stay there. Police come get you. And the police come. They put them in jail and they send to me the bill for the dentist. They lose the teeth. I say, when you talk with me like that, I already have a record on my phone. Don't think I'm stupid. Okay, but don't come back here again. If you come back next time, I will kill you. I tell him that I, I will kill you. If you come back. You say, fuck,

Vance Crowe [00:30:10] Were you, were you angry? Were you worried? What? What were you, no,

Thomas Nguyen [00:30:14] Come, come. I'm gonna come. I stay outside and I ready to fight. You know, I, I do tai chi and TaeKwonDo. You know, I learned kung fu when I was five years old until when I'm 18 years old. I cut the brick easy. I cut the brick easy. I tell you by my hand, if somebody let me, my hand like that hit right here. The bone broken. I tell you, if I hit somebody like, like this neck, bone,

Vance Crowe [00:30:45] Oh my god,

Thomas Nguyen [00:30:46] Neck bone will be broken. I'm serious. That's why my son and my dog, my, my, my, my wife say dumb, dumb, dumb. But with Matt, sorry, my, my last name win. N-G-U-Y-E-N. Don't make me to win, man. I don't, I learn kung fu for protect me. For, for protect me. I don't learn kungfu for fighting or kill somebody, you know? But no, anybody can make me hurt. Some people tell me, you ride over that up. Somebody put a gun on my hand one time in the south ram, you know, city. They put a gun in my hand. I saw right here. I say, put a gun down, let talk. And they tell me, don't do stupid thing. Give me your phone and your wallet. I say, I don't give my stuff to anybody. You think I kill you? I say, yes, you can, you can kill me. Go ahead. I do very fast. You know, my left hand kept the gun, you know, and put the gun, this, this door. And he,

Vance Crowe [00:31:49] Oh, is this the company? This is Uber. Uber.

Thomas Nguyen [00:31:52] Call me. Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:31:54] Hey, I recorded this because it was so profound. Do you mind if I were to play this, to put it on, on social media? I don't play at all because everything I tell you tell you too. I agree. This was very interesting. I'm grateful for it. Thank you for this. Very nice to talk with you and I hope I would like very much, very, very much for you to either send me a text message or send me an email. Yes, sir.

Thomas Nguyen [00:32:19] Right here I have a, even

Vance Crowe [00:32:21] I, I record people telling life stories and yours is incredible. I tell you too. Okay. I'm even

Thomas Nguyen [00:32:28] One group,

Vance Crowe [00:32:28] You know, lie or wrong? No, I responsibility. You know what I'm talking. Yeah.

Thomas Nguyen [00:32:34] I'm happy. One day you and me go out for Starbucks. Drink coffee and coffee.

Vance Crowe [00:32:37] Yes, I would like that very much, much, yes. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I would like to shake your hand. Hang on one second. That's gonna do it for this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I know that throughout the weekend I had some pretty hectic times with my kids. My wife was sick, I was in charge of everybody. From the infant to the 3-year-old, to the five-year-old, the three-year-old got sick only this time, instead of responding with the amount of energy that I was being given, I thought about myself being that placid water. The one where the waves were not determining what happened, but instead I brought calmness. That calmness culminated in my children and I having a wonderful weekend despite all the turmoil. I know that from my conversation with Thomas, I'm a better person and I hope you feel that you are able to apply some of the lessons he learned as well. If you are interested in having me to sit down with one of your loved ones, to have a deep and insightful conversation so that we can record their life stories, so we can find out what their childhood was like, what their career was, the deep wisdom that they've learned along the way, then consider getting them a legacy interview where we can capture their stories and you can pass them on to your children or grandchildren so that your family knows their history, the stories that make you who you are. If you're interested to learn more, go to Legacy Interviews dot com. All right, we'll be back next week.

Vance Crowe [00:34:09] Ah.