Starting conversations with beekeepers | ATCF | Episode 15

Vance Crowe [00:00:00] As the crow flies on the Vance Crowe Podcast, welcome back to the podcast. I'm glad you're here. On Fridays, I sit down to share some thoughts, philosophies or concepts, things that can help you become a tangibly better communicator. So I am getting really excited about Dante's Inferno. Our group has grown dramatically since last week. We've gotten, I don't know, maybe 25, 30 different screenshots of people either getting the book or the audio book. I've even seen a YouTube link or two. So I am elated that so many people are jumping in on this. I know that I am just getting into the second canto, so I'm at the very, very beginning, but I've also been doing a lot of background reading while I'm, I'm checking it out. And the layers of richness that come from checking out different podcasts that are talking about it and reading up what on what other people think is the beginning, like the three beasts that he faced right in the beginning, right where it's one is a, a wolf, one is a lion and a leopard, and what they represent, the lion represents royalty. And the the wolf represents avarice or greed. You know, there's very, there's a whole lot of complexity there that if you're taking your time and reading it, it's opens up the book even more. But if you're also like a completer, I know there are people that have already read the first one and are now going on to purgatory. So they, they transcend it through hell and now they're going to purgatory and, and eventually onto paradisio.

Vance Crowe [00:01:33] So anyway, the book club is going great, and you still have lots of time to jump in on the book. It is not long. If you start now, you'll have no problem getting there. And it would be really exciting if more and more people joined. So for this week's as the crow flies, I thought I would sit down and share an experience that I had last night with the Eastern Missouri Beekeepers Association. And the reason I want to talk about this is because you are gonna find yourself in situations where you don't know anybody, and you've gotta find a way to like start conversation or enjoy yourself there or get as much out of the evening as you can. And so I wanna talk about kind of what my experience was going to that night, and then showing how I ended up meeting people at this event. And I had a little bit of an advantage because somebody recognized me and I knew just one or two of the people that were organizing it. But outside of that, I still had to fill my time at the beginning. So I want to talk about that. And at its core, what I hope you take away from this is as you are going out into the world and you're getting some of these skills, you're able to use them in the regular world. And the more that you practice and play with them, even though they feel a little uncomfortable, the better you'll get at 'em and the more you'll return, you'll see on it. I know I've heard from a few people that they are getting better and better at mirroring. And I think mirroring is a fantastic place to start. You know, when you and somebody else are disagreeing, you just repeat back from 'em exactly what you heard them say.

Vance Crowe [00:03:05] So I'm noticing that people are really enjoying this, so I hope we keep doing it. And I don't have a name for the thing that I'm talking about. Maybe, maybe if you, if anybody thinks of one, go ahead and tweet it at me at Vance Crowe. But here's what happened. When I went to the beekeepers, I'm there, and this is an interesting group of people. Most of them are really educated. They're, they're engineers or they're in it construction management. And a lot of times it's the men that are there that are the beekeepers, but not always. Sometimes the women are a, a big part of it and not just the processing part. Like they're a big part of taking care of the hives, wrapping 'em up in boxes, you know, all those things. But for the most part it's, it's male dominated, but they all have wives that are along for the ride because when you come to this annual Christmas party, you're getting together with other people that are like you. And the thing that they care about, at least last night, was bees. And so you see this intermixing of people that might not ordinarily come in contact with one another. And in particular, beekeepers are a little bit of loners to some extent. It, it's interesting to see how to engage with a tribe that's totally different than yours. And so when I showed up, I, I knew a couple of people, but I had to interact with people that I didn't know. And there, the thing that I did every time, and it worked really, really well, was instead of doing the natural thing that a new person to an environment would do, which would be to say, tell me about beekeeping. Somebody doesn't know how to respond to that.

Vance Crowe [00:04:36] That's such a big question that, that it's hard for them to pick out what's the most interesting, what's the most relevant to this person that I'm talking to. And so instead, the question that I often ask when I'm at one of these events is, what is it that beekeepers talk about when they come to a conference like this? And what that does is it lights the person up because they know the answer to that question, and it will give them a way to talk about beekeeping that is one step away from them. So a lot of times people are reluctant to talk about a hobby that they're building because they know how much better other people are, and they don't want to present themselves as being too good or too knowledgeable. And so by asking this question, you allow them, at least in the Midwest culture, to be able to kind of flip that around. And instead of them talking about themselves, they're talking about beekeeping in general. And they're talking about the conversations that they're excited about and the ones that will be the most interesting. And that's how you can get somebody to open up. And in fact, I did it just a few times, and by asking that question, the person standing across from me was able to put their best foot forward. So I got to learn all about the golden age of beekeeping. The ability to ask a person, what do people talk about here? Opens up a lot of doors and you

Guest [00:05:57] Really don't know where it'll take you. And as soon as they start telling you, you can inquire about any one of those things that they present, they will be delighted to tell you. And the fact that they're delighted to tell you means that they're probably choosing to talk about the thing that they are best at explaining and most excited and passionate about. And it's great to see that with other people. I don't have a name for that. I, I know I've done that for a really long time, but I don't have a name for it. So I would love it if somebody had a name for that activity, because you know, what we're trying to do is put names to ways of thinking about communication so that we can all get better. So let's name that meme and, and if it's valuable, I hope you'll write back and talk about where you used it and how this has helped you get better at communicating with people when you don't know anyone at a party. So have a great week and we will be back on Wednesday with another interview. Ah.