74-Year-Old Rancher on Trust, Death, and the Inner Voice That Guides Life Decisions

Mike Compston [00:00:00] And I spent a lot of time with my grandfather. I mean, he used to come pick me up in his pickup and way we went and you know, and I spent hours and hours and hours in that pickup with him as a young child. I mean, I was small. I was standing up on the pickup seat, going around the ranch, listen to him, give the guys working hell. And you know, he didn't hold back 'cause I was there. Let me tell you,

Vance Crowe [00:00:24] I'm Chris Haworth, a grain originator and accountant living in Pocahontas, Iowa, and you are listening to the Vance Crow podcast. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm glad you're here. Today is a special interview with a slow talking retired rancher named Mike Compton. Mike was one of the very first people to join the Articulate Ventures Network. And as you'll hear, when I first met him, I thought, ah, this is kind of an older guy just wants to fill his time by joining the network. I have no idea what role he will play. And he has turned into a central figure of the entire network. He is always there to participate in speaking gyms, to talk about his thoughts during Circular Firing Squad, and really to provide feedback and insight that I don't know anyone else can give, like he can give. Today's conversation is so interesting. We talk about the inner voice that we have in our heads. We talk about death and what it's like to be looking at the mistakes you've made in the past. He talks about his wife and the religion that they have built together and how they've stayed together and mistakes he's made along the way. Mike really gave of himself during this conversation and the entire thing gets better and better and better the longer we talk. So I hope that you find this to be an interesting conversation. And if you wanna meet people like Mike and have the opportunity to engage with people that will give you real feedback, that will give ideas that you do not yet have and will participate with you through book clubs and movie nights, then consider joining the Articulate Ventures Network by going to Network dot Articulate Ventures.

Vance Crowe [00:02:11] We talk about the network a few times in the podcast today, and it's one of those things that you may have a little voice in the back of your head that says, Hey, this might help me. This might make it easier for me to accomplish this, or give me a chance to meet other people like I know I've been wanting to do. And so if that voice is speaking to you, I hope you'll go check it out and join and become a member. That address again is Network dot Articulate Ventures. Thanks so much for joining me, and I am looking forward to going and talking with my man, Mike Compton. Mike Compton, welcome to the podcast.

Mike Compston [00:02:47] Nice to be here, Vance.

Vance Crowe [00:02:49] So you are retired, retired rancher, and you were actually, before the show got started, you were telling me the difference between rancher and farmer as kind of the colloquial difference between East and West and the us. What is the difference between a farmer and a rancher?

Mike Compston [00:03:04] Well, the rancher is, by the accepted definition in the West anyway, is the idea that you have livestock and crop production combined, and they go together in some kind of a symbiotic relationship. Generally farming is restricted just to those that do.

Vance Crowe [00:03:29] So you are a retired rancher and a member of the Articulate Ventures network. And when you first joined, I thought, ah, here's a, you know, kind of an older guy. We'll see how well he participates if he can keep up. But by no means are you keeping up, you're actually setting the pace. You're the first guy to buy a VR headset, you're the first guy to show up to meetings and kind of push the envelope. So where in the world did you come from and how is retirement treating you?

Mike Compston [00:03:57] Well, it's really been my life to be out front. I wanted to be out there as a leader, do things first. Was always encouraged to do that. I think to trust I developed in as a small per child growing up, had a lot to do with it in, in following in the footsteps of my grandparents and also my parents. You know, they, they did things. They were proactive, not afraid to venture across the, the stream carefully. They, you know, usually check to see how deep the water was. They just didn't dive in. But I think I have a little more of that dive in attitude and I still have it. I think I'm a little bit surprised. I still have it at my age, but it, it's, it keeps me going and it's inspiring.

Vance Crowe [00:04:55] So what is your age? How old are you?

Mike Compston [00:04:58] I'll be 74 years old on the 30th of November.

Vance Crowe [00:05:03] And when you, when you look back on, let's say, when you were my age, 39, did you imagine you would be who you are 40 years later when you're in your seventies, 30 years later?

Mike Compston [00:05:15] No, not really. Actually. You know, when I was your age, 39 years old, we were about to make a major change in our ranching operation because we got caught in the ag prices of the eighties. It was very difficult economically. And actually that period of time, 39, 40 years old, we lived, we sold a lot of what we had as far as ag holdings. And it was a big transition. And I made, you know, changed literally my life as far as what I was doing on a daily basis, as well as going outside and getting work outside and off the family operation,

Vance Crowe [00:06:06] You know, the farm crisis

Mike Compston [00:06:08] And the imagine I'd be where I was. You know, I, I couldn't foresee where I am today. You know, I, I I never really thought about it that much. I just have taken as, as life has given me challenges along the way, concentrated on moving forward, picking something that was interesting and something I was capable to do and pursuing it totally and completely you, you know, in order to support my family and, and also to be personally satisfied.

Vance Crowe [00:06:45] When you look back on who you were when you were 39 or, or even younger in your twenties, are you the person that you thought you would be? I mean, like did you, did you meet the expectations that the voice in the back of your mind had for you?

Mike Compston [00:07:04] Yes, I did. I, I actually did. I, I don't remember at least I don't have a recollection of feeling like I, I hadn't accomplished generally what I had set out to do it and have disappointment as far as self disappointment in that it was created by my lack of concentration or setting goals, having the values of trust and, and, and so forth to accomplish what I, that little voice told me I needed to do or wanted to do. That's, that's just the feeling I had as a, as a young person. I was always very, had set objectives and goals and, and they continually moved as I had reached the ones that were set, you know, for short term, medium term, long term. They were always there. I always had those goals. They were set in that little voice in, in the back of my head, you know, with telling me, keep going, keep going, keep going. There were plenty of obstacles along the way. Don't, you know, don't, I'm not trying to say it wasn't difficult and sometimes, you know, you had to pick a new different route up the mountain, so to speak, to get to where you wanted to go.

Vance Crowe [00:08:32] You know, lately I've been thinking a lot about that I have this sensation that I could always be getting better. I could always tighten down my schedule more, I could always be more present. And, and I recently heard somebody talking about how that can become a vice in and of itself, that, that the idea that you are not enough or that you could be doing better ends up taking away from the present moment. And I really struggle with this idea because I know I could be doing more in the world, and the only way to get myself out of the position of stopping or the, you know, the just general inertia of whichever direction I'm going in. And then on the other hand, I find myself being discontent, always imagining that in the future it will be better. Is this something you've like, struggled with balancing?

Mike Compston [00:09:24] Yes. Fantastic. I have, because I go through those periods where I, I do beat myself up in then I, I wanna do more. How could I do more? How could I, how could I make things better? Especially along the, along the lines of, of more a, a more worldly view, you know, how, how can we improve our, our society as a whole? How can we spread knowledge and, and, and wisdom, I think, in understanding so that we, we maintain at least a desire in our, in a society to learn and, and go out there and to seek truth rather than accept that which is repeated continuously and loudly. That seems to be what people grab onto. I've, I've seen that build over actually the last 50 years of my life. It started in the sixties, early seventies, I think when it be, at least in my life, that's the period it started in when, you know, i i I guess it's kind of the standup speak out thing. It reminds me of the, the person that jumps on a soap box and hide bark and gives it feet. You know, that that gets up there and, and no matter what it is, and, and the crowds got larger in our society and they became more, I think they became lazy in a way.

Mike Compston [00:11:09] I don't know if that's the right word, but they started to accept these things and, and develop some kind of a comfort for it, whether it was really true or if it was some wild idea. And, and this idea that, you know, I think in one of your previous podcasts, one of the people brought out the idea that, you know, they, people were looking for something to grab onto and gave them a reason to be alive or a reason to live. And so we end up with these fragmented conditions within a society. We've seen great examples of that lately. And I know myself and it troubles me and I want to do things. And, you know, the, our network, the network is, is, is a very powerful concept. I struggle with the idea of, and I know you've discussed it and it's been discussed within the network, how big, how big, how big can we get, how many people can we get involved and still be as effective as it is so that we have this free and open transfer of ideas, the ability to criticize each other with respect and to discuss it and discuss our differences and, and understand why we are different and sit back when we get through with what some of our sessions and really analyze what a wonderful thing is that we have differences that we don't have the monotony of, of, of acceptance and confirmation of one ideal.

Vance Crowe [00:13:00] I, I agree with that so deeply. And when the Articulate Ventures network got started, and we were just kinda like, well, what, what will be the value of this place that's different than just having a Facebook group or some other medium where we can all get together? And the thing that emerged that I really didn't understand people would value as much as we, as everybody does, including myself, is real feedback. I think we've moved into a place in society where conflict is to be avoided except for by the most extreme people. The ones that are willing to fight and scream, kind of repeat the same mantras that you were talking about. And because everybody else that's not on those polls doesn't want to have that level of conflict. We then get into a cycle where you need conflict in order that you have feedback that tells you, Hey, the thing that you're doing, it's, it could be improved. It could have some, some of the edges rubbed off, or maybe you need to reset the whole frame. But because we're so conflict averse in our PC society that people are wandering around and they go days, weeks, months, maybe even years without anybody really listening to them. Because, you know, if you can't give somebody feedback, you generally don't listen to them.

Mike Compston [00:14:20] Yeah, I, I, I totally agree. It's, it, I mean, the network has exceeded my highest expectations and I, I, I see nothing but good to come in the future. We all seem to be expanding it, testing the, the limits that we have on, on week to week, that they're not stationary, they're not, not stagnant, they're moving. We've, we are as a group and as individuals are not afraid to explore outside of what, what has been accepted last week that maybe we can push it a little farther this week and, you know, and, and see what happens. So far we haven't, you know, at least I haven't experienced any real adversity. I, I don't think, I haven't noticed that anyone, I don't know if adversity even enters into this network, man. You know what I'm saying that I, that concept of adversity, I don't think so.

Vance Crowe [00:15:33] When you think back in your life about the feedback that you were given that had the most impact on you, who were the people that were saying things that hurt initially, but actually they were right.

Mike Compston [00:15:50] The, the primary ones were family members. They were the, the alpha males of the group. You know, they were older German heritage, strong jaw in intense individuals, but some, for some reason, they also exhibited the qualities of compassion, caring, and love. And when you combine those with the intensity and the demanding nature of, of expecting nothing but the best from the person that you're teaching, and to encourage them to explore the cosmos, so to speak, and, and to, to let them know that you'll be there If they are exploring and they get into an area where they discover that they are fearful or feel insecure and, and you, you know, push, but but still hold, hold the safety net behind them so that they are, they become more and more and more productive and more and more educated.

Mike Compston [00:17:25] And, and the only thing that I know that, that created in something that I still have, and when I analyze my own virtues or, you know, virtues that I live by and so forth, is, is trust. I, the, the trust that I was taught or learned or acquired, I'm not sure how it all came about, but that has been the one thing that has caused me more discontent and more disappointment in that I had too much trust in people.

Vance Crowe [00:18:10] Whoa, whoa, I did not expect you to say that. That is super interesting. What do you mean by that?

Mike Compston [00:18:18] Well, getting into business deals without, by trusting people that I had been in contact with for a period of years prior to getting into a, a business arrangement with him. And, and to my own fault, not making sure that I separated that relationship in, in making business deals and having legal agreements and documents and everything to cover everything that may could, should or did happen. And it, it burnt me and burnt me hard. But the, the what bothers me today is I didn't learn the first time. I didn't learn the second time. And I have this feeling now that I might do it again because it's not something I seem to be able to recognize and control.

Vance Crowe [00:19:19] Meaning that you find what people say to be sincere on its face and you take it for what it's worth and you haven't been able to transcend it. Is that what you mean?

Mike Compston [00:19:30] Yes.

Vance Crowe [00:19:33] It's really interesting that you're talking about this because one of the things that my brother impressed on me was that when you start a business arrangement with somebody, one of the most important things is not how will we separate the money that we make, but how will we ultimately separate ourselves when we decide we're not happy with this? And that has been one of those things, it's a little bit like going to your fiance and being like, I want a prenup, right? And in marriage it's a different thing, right? You don't want an exit plan, but with a business partner, that's what makes it different than a marriage is that you can establish an, an exit path. And for me, that's been one of those activities that I've done regularly, but always been reluctant to do it. But it's just been a, a matter of wisdom that somebody else gave me that I execute,

Mike Compston [00:20:24] You know, I totally agree with it, you know, that what Ben said, you know, that, that that's what was needed. How to, how to exit, how to, how to dissolve something that had been created, you know? And, and truthfully, I can say I, I don't have enough confidence in myself to, to right now to say that I wouldn't do it again. I think it's highly unlikely, you know, that, that I would, but you know, I I, some of the things that have happened have been a little bit shocking in the last 15 months of my life. But, you know, and I'll say probably in because I was involved in so many family businesses that trusted family members in, in, in other ways and actually in, in business or transactions, that although I trusted family as a young person in growing up and, and created and developed some of my basic values and, and qualities that I have today, there are family members that are probably the least trustworthy of anyone you'll ever come in contact with.

Vance Crowe [00:21:53] So one of the things that you've provided in the network is people, there are a lot of entrepreneurs and there are a lot of people that are leaders within their family businesses, maybe not with all the power or all the, the, the purse strings, but yet they're expected to make things happen with their family business. What do you think is important for people universally to recognize about family businesses? And not just the negatives of who you can't trust, but but generally how is a family business different than a, than a than a business partner business?

Mike Compston [00:22:26] Well, I think for me it was the idea that the respect gets in the way sometimes respect for each other as family members, the levels of respect, I, at least myself, I had for family members exceeded those I've had for those outside of the family. I mean, there's, that's just how it is when you, you know, you develop that because of the, for many reasons as you're growing up or, or working together and you know, it, it, it makes things more difficult. You, you wanna make decisions. I always had a hard time saying no to my father in particular, because my dad was a, a lot like me and a lot not like me, both in some things he was, he liked to do new things, push the limits. But he, he also, he wasn't as tenacious about that onset, you know, he, he never attacked it with the intensity I did. But he never wanted to compromise with the rest of us. It was his way or the highway. And it made it very, very difficult on me and extremely difficult for my mom because for the last 30 years, especially of my life before he passed away, he and I were at each other all the time.

Mike Compston [00:24:21] We didn't agree. And, and, you know, it, it got, so it didn't happen as often because I got away from the family business as much as I could and did things on the outside. And, you know, in, in the end we had signed a treaty and I, you know, pretty much was his caregiver for the last five years of his life. Life and, and

Vance Crowe [00:24:47] Whoa. So you went from dissolving a business to becoming his caregiver?

Mike Compston [00:24:53] Yes.

Vance Crowe [00:24:55] How was that psychologically

Mike Compston [00:25:00] For me, very difficult for a while, you know, because I, I had times caring for him when I, you know, it was very emotional for me. It would hit me, you know, and I would, I would feel a bit sad about it because I, I would realize that there was things that I had missed that I could have been part of. But, you know, I I, I was more concerned with the idea that he never really understood me, you know, that, that his day of death, he never understood me as a person who I really was, what my core values were, what drove me, what, what, you know, he didn't, he just wasn't a person that could wrap his head around the me, you know, because I was so much different than, than him in, in, in, in some ways. You know? He, he, he was a World War II veteran, and, and I mean, I'm going to say what, you know, that he, when he had come back from the war, I mean, I wasn't alive, of course, but I was told, my mom told me that it really changed my dad a lot. And my dad did not like conflict at all. He probably suffered from PTSD, you know, it was not something that the World War II vets that he was even recognized, you know, know the things that happened.

Vance Crowe [00:26:45] It's, it's so interesting to me that you say this about the, there were values that you held that your dad didn't hold. And that was one of the things that separated you two from knowing each other for him, from him knowing you at least. Where if your father wasn't the one that gave you these values, where did they come from? And why do you think he couldn't see them?

Mike Compston [00:27:08] Well, they came from my grandfather on my mother's side, and, and they, he was very different than that side of the family was very different than my dad's side of the family. They were, that's where they came from. And I spent a lot of time with my grandfather. I mean, he used to come pick me up in his pickup and way we went and, you know, and I spent hours and hours and hours in that pickup with him a as a young child. I mean, I was small. I was standing up on the pickup seat, going around the ranch, listening to him, give the guys working hell. And, you know, he didn't hold back. 'cause I was there, let me tell you, you know, I, you know, it was, I, I smile about it because I had a good time. And so I, you know, here was, here was I this little 5, 6, 7, 8, 10-year-old boy that, you know, had built up this idea that he was one tough Jose, just like grandpa, you know? And I was gonna stand and stand, stand up for myself and, you know, I was going to, I was gonna, I emulated my grandfather. That's what it was.

Vance Crowe [00:28:30] And as you look back and think that your father didn't understand you, do you think that that was something that you could have explained, you could have gotten him to understand? Or was this just a, a riddle that would never be solved?

Mike Compston [00:28:49] I, I, I definitely think I could have worked on it more and spent time addressing it, which I did not do, ever. And that's, in retrospect, I, I mean, I, I never even thought about that until literally after he was gone. So it, it's just recently in the last few years,

Vance Crowe [00:29:17] This goes along with the concept that is really important to me. And so in the network next, each month we do a shared experience where we decide, hey, we're gonna all work on this one thought that revolves around whatever the theme of the month is. And the theme for next month is liberating a mentor. And, and we're gonna be talking about how the western concept of finding a mentor is you find somebody that's got all kinds of wisdom, you go sit at their feet and then they tell you that wisdom and you move on. But in reality, I think that the mentor mentee relationship is a two-way street. And that in many ways, somebody coming to sit at the feet of a mentor is doing a service, because that mentor then gets to revisit the things in their life that they weren't able to identify when they were in the present moment. And rather than have that be wasted in the sense of, well, I wish I could have done something about it, but I can't, now you are passing this wisdom on to younger people because I am so afraid of waking up 5, 10, 15 years from now and being like, why didn't I recognize that as important? And the only way to get woken up is to have somebody mentor you in my perspective, which is what I see you as

Mike Compston [00:30:39] Well. Yeah. And I, and I think mentoring is huge, as you say, and has huge effect on people. But I have observed something that's happened in the last month with a person that I viewed as a young person, less than 30 years old, that I had a lot of respect for and, and saw going places in a grand way. And this individual's changed, but mentors, and I, I, I mean, I'm looking at this from a distance and that mentor boom, this person into someone that is completely different and that I don't like at all.

Vance Crowe [00:31:35] Whoa, okay.

Mike Compston [00:31:37] No, I mean, just extracted the good things about her and put new ideas, new values and new thoughts into her mind that she is now using and, and, and it has changed, changed her so her so much that it's really ugly and it, it was shocking to me. It's something I never thought about, but how, what the huge effect of mentor is. And, and you know, it's back to the old idea. I was, I thought about it in the realm of what I, what I was talking about trust. When you trust someone deeply, you are vulnerable. And the vulnerabilities that a person has can use positively and also negatively,

Vance Crowe [00:32:50] You know, you're totally right. And that is actually something I had never really grappled with. I've been extremely fortunate, I think, to find mentors that were not trying to overwrite the software that I already had on my mind. They were adding addendums or, or updates or Right. Or different things. But you know, you're exactly right that if, if you build that relationship of trust, you are letting somebody write on your software. And the challenge is, if you don't let anybody in enough to write the software in your brain, or at least give you an update, then the only model you can use to explore the world is the one you already have. But I had never considered the negative potential there.

Mike Compston [00:33:33] Well, you're exactly right. I mean, it, it's the adage you talk about rewriting our software. Yes. You know, when you look at that as far as modeling, computer modeling and those kind of things, building models, you know, garbage in garbage, gout, you know, it, it's, it's what happens. I mean, it's in the same sense, it's the same as it as a, as a database or a data bank. You know, if it's full of crash, you're gonna get more crash, but it's, if it's full of solid data, you're gonna get more data.

Vance Crowe [00:34:16] Which then that brings me to another concept that I, I'm very curious about your take on, because you've had so much longer of a span to be thinking about these things. What do you think is news to you? You know, like what is it that is information that you like, say, Hey, I need this information in order to operate in the world. Are you watching the major news outlets? Are you reading newspapers? How do you think about what is news

Mike Compston [00:34:49] Presently? I'm having a very difficult time with that. I have less trust in network news for sure. I'm having more and more difficulty separating news in a sense that finding absolutely pure news. I'm not sure I know where to get it, Vince, I, I really am having a hard time right now. I, I can't tell you one source where I can go get real ho and feel comfortable that I've got honest news.

Vance Crowe [00:35:33] Is that different than the past? Would, did you feel like you had

Mike Compston [00:35:37] Good

Vance Crowe [00:35:37] Con I mean,

Mike Compston [00:35:39] You know, and I don't know if it was any better in the past, or it's back to that old word front again that I had front in the past that I don't have today. You know, I, I, I, you know, it seemed more straightforward. You know, I, my best example I think is some of the reporters that covered the Vietnam War, which was a big deal in my lifetime, affected my generation hugely. And, and some of the reporters, I back then, and I don't even remember all their names, probably did, I had thought, did a really good job. And it was something I, I wanted to see because, you know, I had a lot of friends over there and knew where they were and what they were, what part of the country they were in over there and, and what was going on. But at that point in time, I trusted, trusted that news, trusted those news passes. But from that point on, it seemed to be a low continual evolution to more opinionated rhetoric rather than news. I mean, news was, the planes hit the Twin Towers and we watched them bra to the ground, you know, that was news, you know, pure ugly news.

Mike Compston [00:37:27] But that is one of the biggest events. I was sitting on the edge of my bed getting ready to go to a conference in white space Montana, with a bunch of dairy mar marketing regulators long, far away from home when that came on tv. And I sat there and watched the, watched what was going on and watched the second plane hit. And, you know, that was, that was pure unrestricted news. Now, to find that on a daily basis, very, very difficult, you know, I, I,

Vance Crowe [00:38:10] Yeah, and you had made an observation the other day that blew my mind. We had watched Hunt for the red October as a movie night, and you made the comparison of the Cold War where we're at like a nuclear deante with the Soviet Union or Russia and, and COVID. And I really, I was shocked by that when you first said it, but the more that I've thought about things through that prism, it really does feel that way that politicians use it to say, you should be afraid, but be afraid from this angle. And then another politician comes in and says, no, that's not the angle to be afraid. Be afraid from this angle. And all of it almost equals this is why you should give my party power to be able to fight this existential dread that you have out there on the horizon.

Mike Compston [00:39:01] Yeah. And you know, that, that's very discomforting right now to me and, and to others in the, in my generation, that very discomforting because we see these similarities that, you know, that, that we have this mind manipulation going on, you know, and it's troubling because, you know, when you look back to the, the generation before and the idea that the, the Hitler's machine and, and propaganda machine, and, you know, I, I read a lot of books about the Third Wright and how that all came about and my earlier days, 30, 40 years ago, and still look back as a reference on some of the things that happened. And, and, you know, the young people, those young Nazis that were so wanted to be a part of it so much. And you see the old films of them all cheering and singing and, and all they were, they felt like they were enlightened and, and, you know, they, they thought they were doing good and it made them feel powerful.

Mike Compston [00:40:37] And, you know, that was cultivated by a political movement. And, you know, we see these struggles with, with the, the different political movements we got going on have going on in the world right now in the developed countries, especially. And it is scary because we, I I don't think we know today which way this seasaw is gonna tip.

Vance Crowe [00:41:04] Yeah. Movements like political movements are so scary because they show the herd like nature of human beings. And like you said, when the, when the group is getting together in a herd, it maybe starts off that they, they come together because they're afraid of something. But then when they start moving as a way of like, well, we have this truth and we need to move that forward to help people get away from the thing that they're afraid of, or the thing that is causing all these problems for us. And you start seeing that mob move forward, the faster they move, the scarier it is. And just like you said, like those people that are involved in a movement, and when I say those people, it could just as easily be me. I'm not, I'm not putting myself above the, the fray of human behavior. They feel so good about what they're doing. Yeah. It's, it's no different than a religious movement when you found Jesus or you found some savior, it's no different. You have that, those, all that wiring is already in your head,

Mike Compston [00:42:08] You know, you're exactly right. And I'm, you, it just brought something back to me to experience my wife and I had, when we were working on a project in, in France on the weekend, two different weekends. One was a, a trip that, are you familiar with where the, the religious place where the primarily Catholic, where all the young people go. And it's, it's a big deal. It's very spiritual and so forth. It's, it's very upbeat. But anyway, we went there and visited there and, and you know, I did, we did some praying and so forth and, and experienced it, not when there was huge numbers of people there, but people could, young people from all over the world go there. And then on another weekend we go to this farm festival we were looking at, and we were with a French young French person and another American young lady. And, and we were went to, but let's go this, this weekend. So we're going down these little narrow streets where a bulk waiting golf is about all you could get down through it, you know? That's what they're like. And, and we get to this farm festival and we are there and we're, you know, think, wow, this is, this is a little different. You know, what's, what's going on here? And we, you know, are there an hour or so and realize that we are really in the middle of communist party rally.

Vance Crowe [00:43:52] What is that? Like, what is going on that

Mike Compston [00:43:54] Tells a farm festival, you know, it was so bizarre. I can't really describe it. Very upbeat, very positive, you know, everybody's excited and singing and dancing and, but everything about it was around, you know, as, as you, we need to dust off the top of the table, you realize what was underneath there, you know, rain chance, rain, that's all I can say.

Vance Crowe [00:44:32] Yeah. And for an American to, to look at people singing and dancing and happily, you know, heralding the ideas of communism, when you juxtapose that about what happened in the Soviet Union and millions upon mil, you know, 60 million people dead as a result

Mike Compston [00:44:51] Of

Vance Crowe [00:44:51] Trying to enact that into the world. It's, it's like going to what would feel like the equivalent of a witchcraft, you know, like a seance or something.

Mike Compston [00:45:01] Right. You know, from this American point of view, you know, that's, that's what we felt like. And you know, once we realized that we just, you know, we couldn't get outta there fast enough. It was, you know, all of a sudden you felt like, wow, maybe we're not very secure here. You know, realize you're pretty small and you're, you're just this little little person that, you know, could disappear in the alleys of some little country town in France. You know, when they realize that you, somebody views you as a eye.

Vance Crowe [00:45:45] I mean, I know this feeling entirely when, when, when you finally realize when you're out traveling, that you've gotten past the sheen of tourism and you've gotten into the place where you are somewhere where people may not want you and you are not a part of them. And it's one of those things that when you're just a tourist, you're just traveling around on your, you know, over a week. It maybe happens every once in a while you stumble into a dark alley. But when you're living somewhere, you can get this feeling of like, oh, I know this, I know these people. I know this place. And you can stumble into places where all of a sudden you realize, I am in insignificant, I could be gone and no one will come looking for me. I just disappear. And maybe there would be some kind of inquiry, but I'd already be gone. And that's a sensation that doesn't happen when I'm living in St. Louis, Missouri.

Mike Compston [00:46:39] Well, yeah, and I'll, I'll give you another example that my wife and I lived through. We were traveling in South America and we were with a group of seedstock cattle producers in Bueno area, Argentina. And anyway, we went bus loads out to this livestock auction yard, and we're attending an auction there. And my wife and I, you know, being part of a group, but individuals within the group, but talking to some young people, which we always want, we, I'm still drawn to young people as you know, and like to talk to 'em. So we're off talking to him and having great conversations and learning a lot more than just the police, the kind of a thing. So anyway, we get to looking around and there is nobody from our group to be seen, and we're about 60 miles from our hotel out in the country. And at that time, there was armed guards on every intersection in Argentina. It was a little bit, you know, during one of their periods of unrest and change of leadership and all the other great things that, you know, inflation was something like 1400%. And we couldn't carry enough money to buy a Big Mac, you know, in a, in, in a suitcase. But anyhow, so here we are, we're on the country, no power, no way to get back.

Mike Compston [00:48:16] Don't have a clue how to get back.

Vance Crowe [00:48:18] No cell phones,

Mike Compston [00:48:21] No, no cell phones. So they load us in this Volkswagen and they'll say, we'll take you back. So we knew what our hotel was. So we're in this car and in the backseat of this little Volkswagen Gulf. And, and my wife and I were going down the road and going down the road, and I was this, you know, we have no idea which direction we're going. We don't know whether we're going farther away or closer to town. You know, just like you said, luckily it was all great and they were good young people, but it was risky.

Vance Crowe [00:48:59] Yeah. There are moments in my life where I've had those revelations where you're in a cab and you're, I, I've been having a good conversation with the cabbie, and all of a sudden I realized, well, I've actually told this guy quite a bit about myself without realizing that I don't actually know what he wants or what his intents are. Or, one of my experiences was I went to a cricket match and I was having a great time, and I had met these guys that were really worldly and they wanted to, to go to another bar. And so we do, and they're buying me drinks, and I'm just having a blast being like, oh, they must like me so much. They keep buying me drinks. And there was some voice in the back of my head that was like, Hey, maybe you ought to quit drinking with these people you don't know. And I remember just being like, I need to leave right now. And I've always looked back on that time and been like, ah, maybe that would've been a story worth telling. It would've been fun. But I promptly left because I was like, something's not right here. And I always wonder, what, what would've happened had I not done that? But I have this sneaking suspicion that they were up to no good.

Mike Compston [00:50:09] You know? And that's, that brings up another point is, you know, why people listen to that little voice inside of you. You know? I really believe that. I mean, it, it, it never, I've never been wrong when I listened. I've, I've almost a hundred percent been wrong when I didn't listen to that inner voice.

Vance Crowe [00:50:37] Yeah. And it's interesting to think about when that voice speaks to you, right? It, it's like in moments of danger sometimes it's in moments of ecstasy and happiness that's like trying to bring you back down. Do you have a way to be able to commune with that voice that we're talking about?

Mike Compston [00:51:00] You know, I, I used to argue with it, you know, and, and say, no, you're wrong. You're wrong. You know, and talking to that little voice, and it took a few waxed up upside the head to, you know, make me realize that I probably shouldn't be arguing with myself, you know? And you'd be a whole lot better off if you listened. And that was a bit of a, of a monumental transition for me, because I probably spent 20 years in the arguing mode.

Vance Crowe [00:51:45] It's interesting to think about why that voice feels distinct from you. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have control over that voice. I can't tell it what I want. I can't tell it what I want it to be getting me towards. I have no control over it, and yet it is only in me. So who the hell is that voice? Is it God? Is it the other half of me? Like, what is it?

Mike Compston [00:52:13] It's the, you know, I think it's the, it's the grand culmination of all your values. I think it's all your values known and unknown in that voice.

Vance Crowe [00:52:34] That's an, that's a very interesting thought. That's a very interesting thought. And then the question becomes, you know, you encounter many, many values right? Throughout life, you could encounter the values that, that are not good for you to have. But it does seem like there is an intrinsic goodness in the voice. At least that's the way I, I, maybe, maybe that's thinking too highly of myself, but I feel like my voice has been able to discern the values I should have versus the values that I'm drawn to.

Mike Compston [00:53:07] I'd have to agree with that. I have to agree with that. And I, I never really thought of it that way, but I, I agree with that. It's the good, it, it's not, not just the values, it's the good values.

Vance Crowe [00:53:22] Have you had to deal with addictions or vices that were difficult for you?

Mike Compston [00:53:31] Smoking cigarettes?

Vance Crowe [00:53:33] Oh, I did that. Why'd you start smoking?

Mike Compston [00:53:44] Because my friends did. I think I started when I was 17, 18 years old, and I quit when I was 70.

Vance Crowe [00:53:58] Oh man.

Mike Compston [00:54:01] Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:54:02] Are you worried there's a price to be paid with like lung cancer just sitting around the corner for you?

Mike Compston [00:54:08] Yeah. I mean, I go for a, to a, a doctor and, and get examined every year and, and have a CT scan in my lungs. About 10 years ago, there was a dark spot about the size of a dime in one of my lungs. Showed up in an x-ray and scared the hell out of me. And I didn't even quit then. I mean, that's how stupid I was

Vance Crowe [00:54:36] Addicted.

Mike Compston [00:54:36] I was What

Vance Crowe [00:54:37] Prompted what prompted you to quit?

Mike Compston [00:54:43] You know, I, I tried all the, all the, all the things you know that are supposed to help you. None of 'em were none.

Vance Crowe [00:54:52] The patches, the gum, the

Mike Compston [00:54:54] Right. I mean, I was, you know, and then I thought, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use food tobacco, so I am, I've got a, my lips full of Copenhagen and a cigarette in my mouth, so you know that I'm getting a double shot. But anyway, one day I just said, I'm quitting. I just quit. Boom. I said, no more. I'm gonna do this. I'm done. I'm I'm gonna die. It's gonna kill me. It isn't yet, but it is going to, you know, and, and the, anyway, I went, I was going to the doctor. I had this appointment with the doctor because they thought I was having some problems with sleep apnea. My, you know, family practitioner thought I needed to go and have that checked out, which I didn't. But then, you know, I go to the, to the doctor and he says, well, you know, you're, you're starting to show signs of mild COPD, blah blah, blah, you know, this is what you're gonna do. And you know, if you wanna live long, buddy, you better quit. And today would be a good day. And it was a good day. That was it. Understood.

Vance Crowe [00:56:15] It's, you know, when you actually take the time to contemplate death, which is one of those things that I like, avoid looking at, right? I, I, I'll look over here, right. I'll look over there, up or down or, but when you contemplate death, it ends up for me not being as sad or as scary of an experience as, as I initially think that it's going to be, right. It, it does something for truing. Whatever the things are in my life do. Are you capable of thinking clearly or for a long period of time about your impending death?

Mike Compston [00:56:52] Oh, yes. You know, I, I, I'm not afraid of it, you know, and that's because of my Catholic religious beliefs, you know, and I'm not a cradle Catholic. I was a convert that I converted when, you know, I started dating my wife long time ago, but anyway, and really studied it and, you know, tried to catch up, became a Catholic when it was much more traditional and Latin masses, and carried my red missile around and, you know, all those things. And women wore little late bale or on their head or a scarf. And, you know, it was something that I really got into because it was a very regimented, very strict, my wife was educated in the Catholic schools all our life, actually wanted to be a nun. Went to the convent and saw the doors close behind and said, hell no, this is not what I want. So you know it, but he, he's just a very good person too. And, and it helped me a lot.

Mike Compston [00:58:24] But anyway. Where were we?

Vance Crowe [00:58:26] Well, the Catholics, the Catholics have, because I grew up Catholic and, and actually right now I've been attending Catholic mass, not because I have some deep belief in God or think that I owe God, you know, a once a week punch card to get to mass. But because as I'm raising a child, I am really struggling with how will I create the software that gives her her inner voice, her Damon the values that I think are important. And I, I am afraid that if I try and do it without a church, I will have major problems. I see the flaws in using the church as the software writing system, but I don't necessarily have another better way that trans transcends 2000 years of experience. And this is right here, what you're saying makes you not afraid of death, right? So it's an important thing to be considering whether you should go or how does this help you align your values? Or what does it mean for when we die?

Mike Compston [00:59:29] You know, that's, I will say that the one thing that it makes me is, is I'm not fearful of death. I think that is the most important part of what I got out of my religion and still get out of my religion, you know, and, and going to mass virtually every Sunday. And you know, you know, and, and listening to a, a Catholic mass that's coming out of the heartland, you know, and, and on, on television, it's fantastic. Good homily, something that's supportive, something to really think about. I think more so now that I'm older, I paid much more attention to, to it than I maybe did for the mid period between my period becoming a Catholic. There was a, a, a low, so to speak, somewhere in the middle that I wasn't quite as intense about the religion itself. Not any less a believer, but just less the participant.

Vance Crowe [01:00:42] So what do you think happens when you die?

Mike Compston [01:00:47] Well, I, I believe in reincarnation and in the spirit, you know, the same into the heavens. And you know, that, that I will be enjoying my family there. You know, that's, that's,

Vance Crowe [01:01:13] Can you imagine this as architecture? Is this palaces, is this a place covered with clouds? Is it ethereal and there is no need for space? You

Mike Compston [01:01:24] Know, I, I imagine it to be a, a, a peaceful, humble, simple, plain or environment, you know, no, there's no dullness about it, but there's no brightness. It's in, in some area between there.

Vance Crowe [01:01:49] And do you concern yourself with the thoughts of hell?

Mike Compston [01:01:55] Oh, yes. You know, and the people that I don't meet, and I hope I end up in heaven. If I don't meet 'em in heaven, I'm gonna be damn happy that those ones I don't see are in hell. And there's a few that I hope end up there are already there. You know,

Vance Crowe [01:02:29] It's interesting in life, when you think about the, the one of the conclusions that I've come to is most of the people that I have the inclination to wish them to go to hell, I think they already, for the most part are living in hell. Right? Like, if they've done something so egregious so as to have another soul out there wishing, you know, suffering upon them, then typically, not always. 'cause it could be that the other person is off their rocker, but typically it's because you're not communicating. You're doing things that are distrustful. You are, you know, stealing or breaking the, the what we think of as the, whether it's the 10 commandments from God or just the 10 things that allow you to have better relationships with the people you're in contact with. And if you're breaking those rules, you typically are in hell, right? There's, there's not an alcoholic that is living in heaven while, while, you know, in the gutter. It's just they, they are in hell.

Mike Compston [01:03:30] Well, yeah, I mean, and, and there's people that because of their deeds, they're, you know, living in hell, that inner voice is, that we talked about has turned on them, and they are being eaten up from the inside out.

Vance Crowe [01:03:51] That's right.

Mike Compston [01:03:52] 'cause if I truly believe that

Vance Crowe [01:03:57] I, and if you get at cross waves with that damon, with that voice that's telling you what to do, it's unrelenting and you hear it all the time, which is why people then go get high or they get super drunk or they, you know, try and have some adrenaline. I know for me, when I'm trying to drown that thing out, I, I am willing to use some pretty powerful substances to be able to make it so that, that way I don't have to hear that voice, but I think that that is the path to hell.

Mike Compston [01:04:30] Yeah, I agree. I, I really agree. You know, and my, you know, my wife and I have been married for almost 54 years. We got married when we were very young, 20 years old. But I will say that she has been my strongest team member, and I have strived to be her strongest team member. And I really believe that now I, I realize it's something special that we have and have, have enjoyed. I'm not sure why and how it all came about. I mean, there was some rocky, rocky spots along the way, and I misbehaved myself along the way too,

Vance Crowe [01:05:38] You know, there,

Mike Compston [01:05:40] You know, don't get me wrong, I, I wasn't any, any angel on a forever basis. You know, I, I like think I, I'm a good person all, but I am far from perfect.

Vance Crowe [01:05:57] What do you think you learned about marriage that men should know in order to have a 50 some year odd relationship?

Mike Compston [01:06:09] I think the first thing is you can't be selfish and you can't, you know, you are now one, you and your wife are one, and you have to maintain that focus. You can be individuals, but you can always come together and be one. And maintaining that balance on a daily, hourly minute basis is very, very important. And you are not going to be able to do everything you want to as an individual, and they are not going to be able to. But in that true relationship, it's very important to support what your partner wants to do or believes in. I mean, you may not agree with it, not at that moment, but most likely, if you have that commitment and attraction to your partner, and it is strong enough, you are best off supporting what they want.

Vance Crowe [01:07:29] I'm, I'm totally with you on that. And one of the realizations that I've had in the last, I don't know, two years or so, is that my wife's Damon, the inner, her voice that she has in her that speaks up as like, pecking at me at the things I should be thinking about or the things I should be doing is really valuable to learn from. And there's no one else that has as invested of a reason to make sure that I am upright as my wife and I, I can see how couples could get sideways where they think, no, that person is keeping me from being the person that I wanna be or that I could be. But you gotta get that right. 'cause if you, and, and the, the thing that you said at the beginning, which I think is absolutely right, you are, are one, and there is no escape valve. You have made the decision that you guys are together and you have to hold up your end of the bargain on, on what that means for a commitment. But once you come to that arrangement that you're not gonna leave a whole new level of interaction and support can, can manifest. That can never manifest between, like we talked about earlier, business partners.

Mike Compston [01:08:43] Yeah. You know, and, and I could truly say that the periods of unrest in our relationship were all my fault. Absolutely. I admit it, you know, this is my confession, you know, I can, that, you know, and you know, I I I was a jerk a few times, you know, just an absolute jerk. You know, men go through some, you know, range things, you know, there's, you know, faith that we're, we're gonna forever walk around the street and glance over at that pretty woman, you know, it, it, that's just a male thing, male female thing, you know, but you maintain the restraint and understanding that yes, you can, you know, enjoy that without going further and without causing problems. You know, it, it, it's, it's not easy sometimes because if, if there's things going on at home, you know, that, that maybe you, you've been in argument with your spouse or whatever, and then you start drifting and you not listening to your inner voice and you maybe got a buddy or, you know, like you say you're at the bar or whatever and having a few drinks and, you know, there's always, always, there's always temptations in all parts of our lives, as you know, man, it's everything we do.

Mike Compston [01:10:47] I mean, I'm sure there's temptations and days when I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't want to do this network thing. I'm, this day is so chaotic, I don't have time to do this. You know? And, and, and if you don't grab yourself and get back on the road, you're going to, you're gonna keep drifting and pretty soon you're gonna hit the shoulder and then you're gonna roll the car, you know?

Vance Crowe [01:11:10] Yeah. And, and it's interesting because I've been thinking about these two metaphors that have come up on the podcast. One is the Cain and Abel is this, you know, Cain killed Abel because Cain's sacrifices that he was making to God weren't good enough. And he got jealous of Abel's sacrifices and instead of making the right sacrifices, he went over and killed his brother. And so there's that metaphor. And then you have the Mark SPI walk, the, the running coach, who was a fascinating interview where he said, Hey, a lot of our problems come down to a three quarters problem. It is that you're three quarters of the way through the race, and if you could keep yourself going hard, then you'll be happy with your thing at the end. And so when you start talking about a marriage or any of the, the work that we do, that's difficult. You always have to have these two models to say, is this a cane and able problem? I'm not making the right sacrifice, and I should quit doing what I'm doing and do something else. Or is this a three quarters problem? I just need to keep going. And eventually it'll get easier and there'll be people cheering for me at the end. Does that resonate with what you're saying?

Mike Compston [01:12:22] Yes, absolutely. You know, I enjoyed that, you know, the running coaches comments and podcasts. It was, it was, it rang my bell. I mean, you know, my wife and I discussed it. We watch those things together. I mean, it's, it's interesting because we watch 'em, we go to, we go to our lay in our bed and turn on our TV and, and sit there before we go to sleep. And they say, okay, let's just Vance have a new podcast. Well, we throw it up there and we, we listen to the podcast and, and then maybe we back it up and listen to this and back it up and listen to that, and then we discuss it and then we go to sleep.

Vance Crowe [01:13:03] Oh man.

Mike Compston [01:13:04] There's

Vance Crowe [01:13:05] No higher compliment than that to me. That's awesome.

Mike Compston [01:13:08] Well, it is, it is just our time. You know, you're, you're, you've been focused and you know, it, it's really nice. You know,

Vance Crowe [01:13:19] Mike, I I, I think we're gonna wrap up here, but I wanna invite you on again and again. Great. This has been a really good conversation, but, you know, as always, I really like asking the question on the way out with certain people. What is your Peter Teel paradox, the thing that you believe that very few people would agree with you on? What, what's something you believe about the world?

Mike Compston [01:13:44] Well, well, I, I have, I firmly believe that everyone has abilities that they have not discovered yet. And I think it's, it, it's my job to teach people or to encourage them to look for who they really are. And I, I, I truly believe that, you know, I don't think everybody's gonna agree with me that there's a lot of hidden ability out there that isn't expressed. And, but I'm adamant about it. I'm just getting adamant that it's fair.

Vance Crowe [01:14:29] You know, I think that one of the things I have observed in the way you interact in the network is people put things out into the world. Like Miriam for example, Miriam Hoffman is a member of, of the Articulate Ventures network. And she, not only did she just win a national FFA officer role, but she's also giving a speech in a few months for her college. And she put forward her talk and she got done. And you were like, it wasn't good enough. I know you could do better. And what I think most people would anticipate by saying something like that to another person is that that other person will cry or start looking sad or be like, nevermind. But instead Miriam lit up and she's like taking down notes and trying to make changes and asking questions. And like when you see someone like you have that impact on another person, you realize, wait, I could do that too. I could provide feedback that would allow them to get better. And so I see you living out the thing that you're saying you believe that other people don't agree with, I think. And I think that that is the, the mark of a, of a real person, a real man, is to live out the thing that they believe, even though other people don't agree with them.

Mike Compston [01:15:42] And, and by doing that, you're a very content, you become very content. I, I, I can truly say that the, the network has brought me to a place in my life that I have never experienced this level of contentment.

Vance Crowe [01:16:00] Whoa. Alright. I love hearing that.

Mike Compston [01:16:04] You know, it, it's, it's something that, and it's so strange because when I decided to become a member, you know, you were advertising it or asking for the first 15 of us or whatever for your test. And my wife and I, you know, watched the podcast and I said, well, what do you think? What do you think? What do you think all these young people with all their great ideas? And, you know, I'm not sure I'm mentally even in the same game or capable wisdom wise of even communicating with all you super smart young people. But anyway, and, but I thought, you know, we looked at each other, says, oh, what the hell, let's give it a whirl. And I did. And it's been, you know, because there's always been a spot that never got filled that I wanted to do exactly what I'm able to do within this network. And it's strange. It was, there's just a little, there was a little block in the side of the building that I never got put in place, but now I have, and it's, it's made me feel very content.

Vance Crowe [01:17:14] Well, we are all better because you're there, man. And I am really glad you were willing to sit down and have such an open discussion about life and religion and the voice and communism and being lost and vices. This was exceptional.

Mike Compston [01:17:28] Well, I wanted a bit, I think. But anyway, it's been fun.

Vance Crowe [01:17:32] Well, Mike, we'll see you in the network. Thanks so much for coming on.

Mike Compston [01:17:36] Thank you.