A Former Homeless Man on Five Years by the Mississippi River and Climbing Back Out

Lance Corbett [00:00:00] Five

Vance Crowe [00:00:00] Years. Oh my God. You mean at a time you would go those stretches with no home? Where did you sleep?

Lance Corbett [00:00:05] Yeah. In, in a tent down by the river right off of the Lumiere, like on the other side of the flood wall in St. Louis, as the crow flies on the Vance Crowe

Vance Crowe [00:00:15] Podcast, Lance Corbett. Welcome to the podcast.

Lance Corbett [00:00:22] How you doing?

Vance Crowe [00:00:23] So you are out landscaping today. What were you, what were you doing?

Lance Corbett [00:00:28] Yeah, well, I was trying to regrade this back area. I guess they were, they had put a bunch of cut down trees and it rained, and so it kind of sunk in some area and they were trying to re re kind of re scalp everything and make it all one level, you know? And so I had to go out there and try and do a little bit of work for them and get that done.

Vance Crowe [00:00:51] To me, I think is one of the, one of the hardest human endeavors because it's like people for the most part, like if you're doing it at, at a homeowner's place, yeah. It's that they need a little bit of labor, but they don't need like a giant backhoe back there. So the labor is the individual that's there digging, Grabbing rock, doing whatever. And man, I gotta tell you, there was one day I was having just the shittiest day and I flipped open Instagram and I'm probably messing around or whatever, but I see you standing in front of this like path of all these rocks that you had laid out throughout the day and you were flexing your muscles. And I was like, damn. That's right. Get out and do something hard. And I went out into my yard and just fixed a bunch of stuff and I was like, that's right. Hard work, man. I love seeing those photos of you flexing.

Lance Corbett [00:01:38] Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:01:38] Is this how you're spending every day? What do you, what are you doing?

Lance Corbett [00:01:42] For the most part, I, I've been landscaping ever since I was a kid, you know, helping my grandma, she lives down in Memphis just so I I, I would travel down there for the summer and I would just do yard stuff for her, you know, I mean, she's my grandma, so she's a little older, you know, and I was like, oh, it's, it's out here in the heat. You don't need to be out here in the heat. You stay in there and drink your lemonade, watch your tv, you know, and I'll go out and do this, you know. So ever since I was a kid, I've been out there, you know, digging up brush and re putting rock down, raking leaves, raking mulch, climbing up on the roofs, pulling stuff outta gutters, you know, I've just been doing that my, my whole life, you know, and being, being up here is different too. I make a joke. Everybody complains about the heat here in St. Louis, and it's nothing like Memphis heat. It's, it's not the same, you know, Memphis Heat is a whole different ballgame.

Vance Crowe [00:02:43] What is, is it just way more humid or what? Yeah,

Lance Corbett [00:02:45] It's, it's got, it's got some heat, so it's, I mean, the heat index will get up to like one 15 and then it's a hundred percent humidity. You'll be outside for two, three minutes and you're dripping sweat,

Vance Crowe [00:02:57] You know? Man, there is in the summer. That is, that is rough. I did, I worked for a paving crew and, and, and I had to be the guy with the broom that would like scrape out the cracks before they went to reseal 'em. And I was like, this is the worst work ever. There's no work, there's no work that's worse than this. You're out on the pavement, it's super hot.

Vance Crowe [00:03:16] So when they came to me and they were like, you're a really good broomer, we wanna invite you to go be on the Hardscaping Landscaping team, I was like, oh, yes, this is gonna be so much better. Only I didn't realize you could be out in Wisconsin summer, which is just the most humid, awful thing. Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:03:31] And then smash your fingers to bits underneath stones and shoveling rock and digging holes. Like it's hard work.

Lance Corbett [00:03:40] Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's another thing too, you know, over the years, it's funny, you're talking about smashing your fingers and stuff. Over the years I've gotten these callouses and all these like nooks and crannies and, and scars on my hands. Every now and then I'll look down while I'm working, you know, and I, I'll be, I'll be huffing rock and I'll be like, man, I don't know if I can do, or I don't know how much more I can do today or whatever. I'll take, I'll, I'll look down at my hands and I'll see all the scars on my hands and I'll think, you know, all, all this work that these hands have done, I can, I can go huff another barrel of rock, you know, I can do one more barrel of rock. And then that one more turns into 10 more turns into 15 turns into 30 turns into the end of the day. And I've got 11 ton of rock done in one day. You know, it's like, I mean, that's just, you know, that's, that's how it goes. You know, you start momentum, once I start, you know, especially working for myself. There's no crew, there's no anything. I just go out there and I do it on my own. It's, it's hard to, it's hard to get yourself motivated, but once you get yourself motivated and get going, Boy, you, you, it's all downhill from there, you know?

Vance Crowe [00:04:55] Yeah. I mean, like, that's the weirdest thing about the human brain, right? Like Yeah.

Lance Corbett [00:04:59] Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:04:59] It's the getting started that's almost always the, the like, getting whatever that is over the, the, I wanna stand still. I don't want to actually get going. But once you take that first step forward, the second step, nowhere near as hard.

Lance Corbett [00:05:14] Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And then it just kind of gets easier and easier and easier until, I mean, that two o'clock feeling, and if you can get through that two o'clock feeling and get your second wind, you can push it down to five or six and then you're, you're done. You know what I mean? That's the end of the day. You, you know, let's move on the next day.

Vance Crowe [00:05:35] Well, this strikes me as like part of your personality, so we know each other. 'cause we do juujitsu together. You're at a gym coached by Mike Meyer, but you normally go over in Illinois. I am over in Missouri, he's got two gyms. So every once in a while we collide with one another. And you are a man on fire. Like, yeah. It's, it's, you're not mean you're not vicious, but you just, the the level of intensity when I roll with you is on a whole different level. And, and you're relatively new to Juujitsu. So where do you get this fire in the belly, man?

Lance Corbett [00:06:06] Well, that in particular comes from my wrestling. I wrestled for a real long time in high school through middle school, through high school. I was a state champion. I went to the nationals, I did 15th. I did really well in the nationals. I didn't medal in the nationals, but I did really well. I think it was like 15th, I think I got my sophomore year

Vance Crowe [00:06:29] Just to go. Is is Greco-Roman? Yeah. Yeah.

Lance Corbett [00:06:32] And, and, and so, you know, I've always kind of had that since I was a kid. You know, my mom kind of makes fun of me when I was real, when I was real little, she used to make me go swim at the pool. And that was the only time I ever behaved right. Was when I'd go to the pool and swim all day. It was the only time I could ever sleep. It's just, 'cause I was always, I've always been like, you know, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. I was always put full of energy. And then when I found wrestling, that was, it was, I mean, I, I just took that on, you know? And so it, it's been a blessing coming into the dojo, you know, I boxed for a couple years and that was cool and all, but, you know, it's a different kind of thing. You know, striking is different than grappling, you know? And I have so much wrestling background that when I came into Juujitsu, I mean that level of intensity from the wrestling room I brought into Juujitsu, even though it's a different type of thing, you know,

Vance Crowe [00:07:33] But the flexibility's all there, your knowledge of where to put your hands. I mean, that's like, people think when they get into a wrestling match. If you're completely untrained, you have no experience. You don't even know where to put your hands on another person.

Lance Corbett [00:07:47] Yeah. So

Vance Crowe [00:07:47] Like, when it comes to a person that was a wrestler that joins jujitsu, I think just your regular comfort with like, I can use my body weight. I can flex in these positions. I can get crouched down. I mean, like, you're a viper when, when you're together, like once, once you've got your grip, it's on and there's no getting rid of it.

Lance Corbett [00:08:07] Yeah. Well, well that's a combination of things. You know, it's a whole combination of things between the, the the wrestling background and then, and then the, the landscaping as well. 'cause that's hard manual labor, you know, when you're taking a shovel and you're raking up this, these shovel fulls of rock all day. It's kind of like this. If you, have you ever competed? Have you, have you competed in a tournament? I don't think I've ever seen you.

Vance Crowe [00:08:32] No. Uhuh

Lance Corbett [00:08:32] You never competed. Did you do the in-house tournament?

Vance Crowe [00:08:35] Oh yeah. I've competed in the, in

Lance Corbett [00:08:36] You did the in-house tournament. So when you go in, so when you go into that, that five minute period where you're in competition mode, and then when you walk off the mat, sometimes you feel your, your forearms are burnt out, you know, from gripping the collar or gripping the sleeve. You know, you're pulling a spider guard or you're, or you're trying to, you're trying to snap down with the collar, you know, you're burning that forearm. I already have that burn for hours before I come and train,

Lance Corbett [00:09:04] You know what I mean? Hours, hours and hours. I'm doing that out there. And so, and, and I've been doing that for most of my life between wrestling and, and, and landscaping. So it's all just overall. And I, and I also balance it out with yoga. I do, I do copious amounts of yoga. I do about three or four times a week, you know, so I make sure. Sure.

Vance Crowe [00:09:26] And how long do you go for in a single session?

Lance Corbett [00:09:28] It depends. It, it kind of depends. About twice a week I do about 20 or 30 minutes. And then once or twice a week, I go for about an hour, hour and a half. Whoa. Real deep.

Vance Crowe [00:09:39] That's deep.

Lance Corbett [00:09:40] Yes. Deep long stretches. I sit in my positions for two, three minutes each position. And I, and I make sure that I stretch it all out and I get that density, the muscle density, you know. And

Vance Crowe [00:09:53] I think the thing that people don't realize about yoga, like they laugh, oh, that's like for women or whatever, but the only way that yoga is effective is if you're getting into the position where you're pushing beyond where your body is like ready to stretch. So

Lance Corbett [00:10:06] Absolutely.

Vance Crowe [00:10:07] There's no moment in there where you're not going all the way to the maximum of what your brain body connection will allow you to do. I, I hate do, it's, I've not, it has not been a meditative experience for me.

Lance Corbett [00:10:20] It's stressful. It's stressful in the body. It's, it's actually painful. You know, people don't understand until you really start getting into it how demanding yoga really is. Especially,

Vance Crowe [00:10:32] I'm much more relaxed after an hour of juujitsu than I am after an hour of yoga.

Lance Corbett [00:10:37] Yoga. Well, the another part that I learned from that is the breathing aspect. You know, I just started doing yoga like maybe a year and a half ago, and it has exponentially increased my ability to, to mindfully breathe. You know, I've always been a combative person between wrestling and boxing. And so when I, yeah, when I'm in Jiujitsu, I know how to breathe properly. What

Vance Crowe [00:11:05] Does that mean? I mean, you know how to breathe.

Lance Corbett [00:11:08] It's, you know, some people, you can tell some people, like when, when there's like a brand new,

Vance Crowe [00:11:15] I hold my breath, I'm like,

Lance Corbett [00:11:17] Yeah, that's exactly what it is. You hold your breath, you grab your grip, and you hold your breath. You say, Ooh, well you're, that's lack of oxygen through your forearm. You're holding your breath. So you only have a limited amount of oxygen that's gonna go to your arm if you're using your arm. So you're gonna burn that out faster. So being used to that and knowing that, and breathing while you're holding it creates the longevity of like, the oxidation of through the muscle. And, and so you can hold on longer, you know? And, and, and that's part of it too. And I learned that through yoga as well, like through like a stay on, you know what I mean?

Vance Crowe [00:11:59] I mean, I remember one of the guys, Anthony Bird was rolling with me every time I would start holding my breath, he would just completely stop. He would just completely relax and be like, oh no, you're holding your breath and then have to stop and start breathing. I'm like, you're rolling with a guy that just turns to jello. It's like the weirdest sensation in the world. And then all of a sudden he grips back on you. But I, he was doing it to make me aware of the breathing, because until somebody points it out, you don't even know that's what happens. You don't know that as I get stressed or as I get. And that translates into the regular world too. Absolutely. Like, I go

Vance Crowe [00:12:33] Give talks all the time, and I realize if I start talking faster and louder, it's 'cause I'm nervous and I gotta be like, okay, slow it down. Take a deep

Lance Corbett [00:12:40] Breath. Right? Right. I catch myself like, you know, my shoulders, like when I'm at work and I'll see like, you know, a job where maybe I've underbid or something. I'm like, oh man, this is a lot more work than I told them it was gonna be. But I can't change the, the amount that I said, you know, I start stressing about that. Or you, I'm gonna buy more material than I told them. How am I gonna, I start, I feel it in my shoulders and I feel that tension in my shoulders. I'm like this, you know, like, oh, you know, sometimes I have to kind of sit down and what I like to do is I like to look at the tree line, like wherever I am, since I work outside, I can look at the tree line and say, okay, this is, this is the, this is how I calm down. Like, for some reason it just kind of gives me the grand scale of like, okay, I'm just an ant on an ant hill like this. I'm just a human on this planet. Like, it's okay. It's fine. And then all of a sudden I'm like, whew. You know,

Vance Crowe [00:13:48] Everybody has that sense of stress. But I think very few people have the awareness that you're talking about that, that you like, because you have to make the observation that it's not the world that is turned red all around you. It's that you are seeing red because you're angry or you're not thinking clearly. How did you become so prescient in this area?

Lance Corbett [00:14:10] Oh boy. Well, to be frank, I've been through a lot in my life. You know, you know, I'm, I'm 30 years old and they're prob there. I mean, there's stuff that I've been through that nobody will ever go through in their whole life. You know, I was homeless, you know, for a while. I fought through that. I fought through all types of stuff, you know, and I made it out on the other side. And now I'm doing okay. I'm, I, I've, I've rebuilt my life, you know, from some happenstance, you know, some, I just had a bad hand and I, I drew, I drew a bad hand and, and I didn't play it very well either, and it all fell out, and then I built it all back up. But from, from all that I learned, like, okay, since I've been through that hardship, since I've been through, you know, all that, all that, that comes with it, you know what I'm saying? That it's just like a lot. And now that I'm on the other side, it's like, well, maybe it's not so bad. You know what I mean? Maybe I just need to hang out. It's a, it's a different set of problems, you know,

Vance Crowe [00:15:34] You know, you were saying about your hand being dealt and I, it I find myself saying I was dealt a really good hand, and then I kept getting other good hands, like get cards passed to me. So I'm intimidated to ask you, like, but if you're open, what, what was the hand that you were dealt?

Lance Corbett [00:15:52] Oh man, we can, yeah, we can bring it up. Well, actually it started off where, you know, I didn't have too bad of a family. Like I said, I wrestled through high school. I had a pretty good high school. I don't know if you know about Edwardsville High School.

Vance Crowe [00:16:16] Oh, sure, yeah.

Lance Corbett [00:16:17] Yeah. So I went there and it, so it's a pretty nice school, it all things considered here over

Vance Crowe [00:16:21] In the, it's a suburb of St. Louis on the Illinois side, and it's where a lot of executives from the city work. There's a lot of people that used to own farmland. It's, it's, it's a nice area. Yeah. It's a suburb of St. Louis in a way.

Lance Corbett [00:16:32] Yeah. It's, it's a, it is a nice area. And, but I surrounded myself with some bad people, you know, and I got, I got wrapped up and you know, I say hand dealt, but really I dealt myself the hand, you know what I mean? Because when you really look at it, you know, I didn't, I didn't, you know, everybody's got their own household problems. So even though I, I, I grew up in a nice area, you know, behind closed doors. I wasn't really raised, you know, how I was the model way of being raised, you know what I'm saying? It was a lot of face value imagery. But when the, when the doors were closed, it was very negative. And a lot of pressure was, was, and it was never like, feeling good enough. And so I pulled, I pulled from that as a kid.

Vance Crowe [00:17:32] In terms of your grades or in terms of wrestling, I mean, or in terms of

Lance Corbett [00:17:35] Everything? Everything. I mean, it was just like all aspects of my life were, were, you know, I could do better or look at this person or, you know, how are they doing things? And it was very image oriented, you know? And it wasn't necessarily me that was trying to produce that as a judging of where should I be based on that person. It was more or less like the standards of my household growing up, you know, and those standards, I never felt like I could reach those standards. And so I internalized that and I started hanging around the wrong people and then hanging around those wrong people. I ended up, you know, self-destructing. And even though I came from a decent area, you know, I self-destructed pretty bad. I ended up in some really bad areas. I ended up, like I said, I ended up homeless. I was homeless for like five years. Three, three or Yeah, it was like five years.

Vance Crowe [00:18:40] Oh my god. You mean at a time you would go those stretches with no home? Where did you sleep? Yeah,

Lance Corbett [00:18:45] In, in a tent down by the river right off of the Lumiere, like on the other side of the flood wall in St. Louis. I mean, I was like in a tent in the winter. We had to keep fire going throughout the whole winter. If it went out, then it was impossible to get it back because it was snow and ice. And I mean, I was go to homeless feeding areas and, and food pantries and clothing drives and I mean, it was nuts and it was

Vance Crowe [00:19:14] All, but you're, I, I mean, you, you started this thing by saying like, I can work, I can, I can do hard work. Why would you choose to live in a, in a tent as opposed to working?

Lance Corbett [00:19:26] Because I just, I, I can't tell you that I really don't know. I mean, I internalized a lot. I had a lot of lack of self-worth based off of the standards that appeared that I had within, you know, growing up, you know, not feeling good enough, not being up to standard with everyone else. You know, it's a pretty

Vance Crowe [00:19:58] Interesting, wow, man. I, I, I, it's so funny because like, everybody has their own, like, relative scale, and I always felt like I had pressure, but I never had pressure that drove me to the, to the edges of the river. Like that's a, that's a scary amount of pressure.

Lance Corbett [00:20:15] And it was, it was enough for me to be comfortable there. Like, that's what I felt like I was worth. That's what I was, that's what I felt like, that's what I was, you know, I was, I had no problem being down there for a long time until about a year and a half in, like, at the tail end of things. I was like, you know what? No, I'm better than this. I'm smarter than this. I, I would go to the library and read books to stay warm, you know? So I would, I was very well read. I read a lot of books throughout my whole life. I, I read poetry and things like that, so I'm literate, you know, and I'd look around and I'd see these delinquents essentially at, at the homeless camp. And I would just be like, man, I know I'm better than this. I, I, I know that, you know? And so I fought through that. I fought through that psychology of things, you know?

Vance Crowe [00:21:16] Were you doing drugs?

Lance Corbett [00:21:17] Yeah, I was. I mean, that was, that was, it was readily available. I mean, every, when you go down to a homeless camp, I mean, everybody's drinking or on drugs, there's not, there's not, you know, rarely ever do you find somebody that's really trying to do something with their life. And when they do, they move on quickly and they grow a lot. Like I did, like finally when I drew the line, I stop drinking, I stopped doing drugs even though I was down there by the river. I searched for places, you know, I got a gym membership so I could shower at the gym, you know, because that's an issue when you're homeless, you have no place to shower. All these homeless people, all these people, these churches that come down and they'll give you soap, but there's no place to shower. It's like, thanks for the soap. You know what I mean? Like, where am I supposed to shower? You know? So I got a gym membership and I would be out there on, you know, the side of the highway, just as you see when you're drive down the street, people flying signs. I was, I was one of those people holding a sign. No way. Absolutely. Yeah. I was, I was holding a sign, you know, will work for food, will work for a shower. I, I put that on my sign before and people would stop by and give me McDonald's and give me their phone number and if you can, if you wanna work, then you can do this for me, and maybe we can find, give you, find you something, figure something out for you. And then I stumbled on that. Eventually I ended up in an apartment underneath the pastor, and I kind of worked from there.

Lance Corbett [00:22:55] And now I'm in a much better place now. I've got, I mean, shoot, I've got a car, I've got paid my insurance on my car out. I've paid all my bills are paid off. You know, I'm, I'm working a lot, you know, it took years for me to finally get to where I was like, you know what? I work harder than that. I'm worth more than that. You know, once you get to that point, a lot of it is just carelessness and carefree, you know, it's just so much to overcome. You know, you gotta come up with a social security card, you gotta come up with an id, you gotta come up with a birth certificate. I mean, that's just to get a job, let alone you have to be presentable. You have to shower or shave daily, you know, you have to wash your work clothes. You have to, I mean, that's a lot. If you really think about it. For someone that isn't used to that, that's been dirty for four months, you know, has never washed their clothes in a year, you know, like that's a lot to handle. Instead, you, and then you're surrounded by people, you know, it's like birds from a feather flock together. You know, if you're down there homelessness and you're surrounded by all these other homeless people, and all they're doing is picking up change on the side of the street and buying beers and hanging out with you, I mean, that's what you're gonna end up being. You know? And so the more you hang out, you know,

Vance Crowe [00:24:18] But how, I mean, like, you and I have already had a conversation where we're talking about yoga and meditation and focus and 14th in the nation and wrestling. Like the, it strikes me as, what were you talking to the other people that you were around about? Like how did your mind occupy all of that time?

Lance Corbett [00:24:41] It didn't, it didn't, you know, I mean, there's, there's, there's a whole set of, there's a whole nother set of problems. It's just like, today I worry about paying the power bill, the rent and things like that. Well, it's a whole nother set of problems when you're homeless. You have to worry about firewood, you have to worry about food, you have to worry about, you know, is somebody, are, are the cops gonna come and cut your tent down? You know, you have to worry about that. You have to worry about, you know, especially down by the river, sometimes the river rises and washes all your stuff out. You know, you, you have to worry about people that come in. People can come in. You can't lock your doors in a tent, so anybody can come in and take your stuff, all your survival gear that you've been accumulating for, who knows how long they can just come in and take it whenever you're gone. You know, it's a, it's a whole set of problems. So, you know, you've got a lot, you've got a lot to do. Even though it's homelessness, there's still a lot of responsibility in that, you know, there's still a lot going

Vance Crowe [00:25:46] On. Were you afraid during this time?

Lance Corbett [00:25:50] Not really, you know, from, from the wrestling background. And then I was always, you know, you feel like when we train together, you feel that intensity that I have, I carried that with me. I've always kind of carried that. So it's, I've always been felt like I can handle whatever happens, you know? And it's kinda like, I really respect Coach Meyer because he likes to talk about the Samurai code. And some of the main, like, one of the main staple ideals from the Samurai code is, is shoot, like, sort of like, not fearing death is what it is. Like you don't fear death. It's honor to death. Right. And so you honor yourself to where, like, I can't really describe it. I, I don't really know.

Vance Crowe [00:26:54] Yeah. I mean, I get the sense from having heard him talk about it, it's, it's, you know, basically that you have facing whatever is facing in front of you. That's what you have to confront. That's the thing that you're engaging with. And that's as far as you can go. You can't worry about the future. All you can do is mess is, is deal right now in this moment.

Lance Corbett [00:27:14] Right, right. And that's kind of like what I followed in that, in that life until eventually I started, I just decided one day I just decided this is enough. I, I've had enough and all that hardship I use now today to relieve the stress that I have. You know, like all that stress that I feel today, it's like, you know what? I don't have to worry about where I'm gonna get my next meal. You know? I don't have to worry about all types of things, you know, I don't have to worry about staying warm at night. I don't have to worry about staying dry when it rains. You know, I don't have to worry about people stealing my stuff. I can lock my door, you know? And, and it gives me a sense of appreciation because I've gotten through that hardship, you know? And,

Vance Crowe [00:28:14] And so now what does your mind occupy as your hauling rock as you're driving to the jobs, as you're at home at night, you're not worried about those survival things, so what are you pondering? What are you thinking about?

Lance Corbett [00:28:30] I still have some pretty dark moments. You know, I, I don't, boy, it, it gets pretty dark in there sometimes, you know? That's the best way to describe it. You know, a lot of self-reflecting, you know, I, I have very brief moments of, of pride, very brief moments, but for the most part, I feel like it's my duty to myself to keep going. And, you know, when I compete or when I complete a job or when I pay a bill as I haven't before, it doesn't, I don't feel that sense of accomplishment as much as this is my duty to myself. This is the amends that I'm making to myself for not caring for so long. Because when it really boils down to it, that's what I was doing, was not caring enough about myself. Even though I was, I had all this worth, and I, and I have all this wealth of knowledge and this work ethic and the strength physically and mentally, I didn't respect myself enough and I didn't care enough. And so now I reflect on that.

Lance Corbett [00:30:05] Sometimes I feel I've wasted my time, you know, sometimes I feel like I should be here at 23, you know? Well, I'm 30 years old, I wasted seven years, you know, or sometimes I think about the experiences I had when I was homeless, and I reflect on that, you know, the relationships I built. Because even though they weren't necessarily healthy relationships, they were still relationships. And they still have branded in my memory as experiences that have molded me to who I am today. You know? And

Vance Crowe [00:30:45] Those people that were your friends or that you had relationships with, are they still down there?

Lance Corbett [00:30:52] I know that there's one guy, he's still down there, he kind of travels around a lot, but other than that, everyone else is dead. E everyone, ev everyone I knew is dead. They've all died, you know?

Vance Crowe [00:31:09] Oh my God, man.

Lance Corbett [00:31:10] So it gets heavy. Yeah, I mean, it, it's, it gets really heavy when I reflect on that. I look back and it's like, wow, I could be dead, but instead today I get to go train at a wonderful gym, you know? I mean, this has saved my life, you know what I mean? Like, it's incredible.

Vance Crowe [00:31:30] So I, I don't really know how to ask this other than like you said, one day I just decided, and when I say something like that, it's because I've had a conversation in my head and a few months ago, I used to talk about it on the podcast all the time. The other people have named that voice, that one that tells you what you have to do. Their damon, you know, not their demon, but their demon. Yeah. And that demon is the voice that says, this is the calling to who you actually are. Right? And you can ignore it. You can not listen to it. You can not even hear it. Sometimes it just, you're too loud. Is that the same thing? Am I describing the same thing in me that, that you think happened in you? Does that voice other

Lance Corbett [00:32:15] Way? That's way to put it.

Vance Crowe [00:32:16] Yeah.

Lance Corbett [00:32:17] It's, it's a, it's a way to put it. I'm pretty well versed in most like, religious beliefs. I have my own kind of way to interpret that kind of stuff. But yeah, that's a way to put it. I feel like that you, there's, I call it milestones, you know, it's like that, but you have a milestone because I don't necessarily like to say it's a Damon, because it's technically you that's thinking it. So when you identify it as a Damon, that's like an outside entity, when really it boils down to it, you are the one that planted that seed. You're the one that decided to do those things. You're the one that decided to take those steps and keep stepping to make that happen. Whether it's, so you're the one that thought of that, you know, that's all you, that's 100% you, you make that decision. You decide, and you have these milestones,

Vance Crowe [00:33:25] You have these other voices that tell you, don't get outta bed. You know, don't, don't go do that thing. Right? Don't, don't go pick up that other, what, why is it that we have this, this is the craziest thing about the human experience.

Lance Corbett [00:33:37] I think that's part of you still, that's part of you still, you know? I mean, everybody has these thoughts. Everybody has thoughts. It's what you do about it that makes a difference. You know? I mean, it would be crazy for me not to say there's days where somebody cuts me off in the street street and I'm like, whoa, what the, you know what I mean? Like, whoa. But I don't do anything about it. You know? Everybody has those fleeting thoughts. Everybody has that stuff. It's part of who you are. It's part of the balance of your own thought processes, you know? So when

Vance Crowe [00:34:17] You think about the people right now that are shut up in their house and they are afraid of coronavirus, and either their job stopped or they got worried about going to their job, what do you, what do you think that's, they should be thinking about? How should they be thinking about getting out into the future?

Lance Corbett [00:34:38] I think when it comes to this type of adversity, it's best to work on self-improvement, but self-improvement doesn't always entail 24 7 self-improvement. Because when you try to, and, and, and self-improvement can be in any form. If you read a book, learn something different, exercise, you know, between jogging in place or pushups or jump rope or yoga for instance, you know, those are all, you know, things for the body, self-improvement for the body. You have your body, your mind that you can improve. And routine is another thing as well, is creating a routine to kind of get yourself through things. Because whether it's good or bad, it all passes. And as much as I hate that phrase, it's so true, because, you know, my grandpa used to say, hold fast, ride the wave, this storm will pass. And so I always think of that, you know, but the way he says it, because when I think of riding the wave, I think of, I'm surfing, like I'm having fun, you know? But then he follows up with, this storm will pass, and a storm is always like, oh, sh oh man, it's a storm. You know? So I hold fast. I either ride the wave or I let the storm pass.

Lance Corbett [00:36:12] You know,

Vance Crowe [00:36:14] My, my buddies and I, one time an old ship had had a big fire on it. And so one of my buddies bought it, and we kinda all worked on it together. We, we sailed it and it was like a ship that it had a giant hole in the side of it, right? And so it doesn't, oh yeah, the steering doesn't work very well. It's the only way we could afford a ship, right? Yeah.

Vance Crowe [00:36:31] And so we're, we're taking it up north to a much smaller sea like community where we could pull it outta the water. And as we come into the, the lock where, where you can bring the boat in, yeah, the waves are coming in so fast that they're actually taking the boat, picking it up and carrying it like we were surfing. Holy cow. And like, I've never experienced anything like that. Every other time I'd been involved in like being on a wave or surfing, it had never been like, this thing has a mind of its own and it can throw us against the rocks no matter what. And that's when, when, so when you're describing what your grandfather said, like, that makes total sense to me because you don't have a choice. Whatcha gonna do jump off the boat, right? All you can do is hang on.

Lance Corbett [00:37:15] It's overall, it's overall powerlessness. It's realization that we're just humans. You know, we are just ants on an ant hill. Somebody can walk by and kick that ant hill right over and wipe our whole existence off. You know? And being okay with that helps me not stress about those things as well. I

Vance Crowe [00:37:36] Mean, are you okay with it? What are, I mean, like, have you come

Lance Corbett [00:37:39] Concern with it? Absolutely. Absolutely. You know, I've told you before, I have a pretty dark I idea of life, you know, and when I say that is, I don't necessarily celebrate the good things, but I'm prepared for the bad things. And I'm okay with anything that could ever happen. You know, the worst that can happen in my life. And it's okay because really I know that within myself and my mind that I'm creating the most positive experience that I, I I'm putting the most work in to make the best life I can. Anything else outside of that is outta my control. Therefore, what's the point in stressing about it? Because it's out of my control. So, you know, anything could happen. I could walk across the street and get plowed by a car, you know, and anything, anything could happen,

Vance Crowe [00:38:43] You know, you sound like Marcus Aurelius. Like, I, I like the, the stoic mindset of as long as you don't have wants, there's very little people can take from you that is gonna harm you in some way. And the, and the way to make the calculation about how should I handle things in the future is much more based on principle than it is on impulse.

Lance Corbett [00:39:05] Yeah, absolutely. You know? Absolutely. You know, I just kind of move from step to step to step. And it's kind of like when I, I apply it to, I apply it to Juujitsu regularly. You know, people tell me, my training partners, the ones that I train with regularly, you know, you go over to the South County, I'm in Belleville, so I don't see you as much, but my training partners are always asking me, you know, when do you think you're gonna get your blue belt? Or when do you think we're gonna get our stripes? Or dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. I said, you know what, it doesn't matter to me. I'm here to train. I'm not here for the blue belt. I'm not here for the purple belt. I'm not here for the brown belt or the black belt. I'm here to train. I'm here to better myself. I'm not worried about any of that. You know, those are, that's the positive things of life, you know, like it's, it's, I'm not worried about the next person. The next time somebody puts a choke in on me, I'm not worried about that. I just move on from the moment to moment. You know, the, the best way to describe it I've read is sort of like a Taoist or a Taos, where it's just the moment at hand that you're handling because the past has already passed and the future will be what it is. So you plant the seeds now and whatever grows is whatever grows, you know, cultivating it, cultivating the seeds that you plant are not always a, a, a fruitful labor. So for me, I will drop seed as much as I can, as much work and effort into life as I can.

Lance Corbett [00:40:39] And whatever comes about is whatever comes about. And I'm okay with that no matter what happens,

Vance Crowe [00:40:46] You know? So it seems like you're oriented up. Do you have a vision for where you wanna be when you're 40?

Lance Corbett [00:40:53] Yeah, I do. I'm, I just moved over here to the St. Clair area. I was over in Madison County, St. Clair County area. I was over in Madison County. I wanted to kind of come over here and eventually move out east to box, because I was boxing a lot before I found Juujitsu. I wanted to move out east and I wanted to just train boxing, maybe become a professional boxer, you know, as kind of like a long-term goal, you know? Now I'm comfortable here, I'm set here. So, you know, I'm, I'm 30 now, I think in, in about 10 years. I hope that I can still be around Jiujitsu family. I hope that I can be teaching. I hope that, you know, maybe I'll have a family and I'll have a little bit more of a business started. It's not just working for myself, you know, other than that, whatever comes is whatever comes, you know, whatever comes about it. Wherever I land is where I land, you know? As long as I don't go backwards. And even if I do, if I keep my head forward, it's okay. You know, if I go backwards and I turn around, then I'm, then I'm gonna end up back down by the river. You know, I could just say, ah, screw it, you know, anytime. But it's not worth it 'cause I've already gone this far, you know?

Vance Crowe [00:42:21] Yeah. You passed your milestones. Like yeah, it's, it's, and as long as you stay oriented in one direction, it never leads back to the river, right?

Lance Corbett [00:42:30] Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So,

Vance Crowe [00:42:33] So with all of the coronavirus and change in the world, one of the things I've asked a lot of the people that have been on here is, what do you think the world will look like in two weeks?

Lance Corbett [00:42:44] Oh, shoot. Not much different than what it is now. You know, I, I've never really been a, a social person, so when it comes to this social distancing, it's, it comes natural to me. You know, like, I'm not, I'm not even really, it doesn't change who I am, you know, I'm okay with that, you know, every, a lot of people wanna freak out and dah dah. Like, I don't really follow any of that coronavirus stuff. I haven't, as a matter of fact, I haven't changed any of my habits, any, not a single one of my living habits. And it hasn't affected any of my life. Nothing. I've just, that's how I've lived My life is kind of like a lone soldier, you know, lone wolf. I don't need a group of people to go to Walmart, you know what I mean? Like, I don't need to, I'm not worried about, you know, I, I kind of stay away from crowds anyway, you know, so it hasn't really affected me. So here in the ne here in the next two weeks, I don't see it being any much different. Maybe in a, maybe in a couple months from now, I think that society as a whole, the, the understanding of like germ control and disease control is gonna be a little bit more higher on the priority list. You know, just as a general societal understanding, you know, because of this.

Lance Corbett [00:44:17] But other than that, I don't see much of a difference in change when it comes to like, the grand scheme of things from this virus. You know, there's, there's probably gonna be some type of economical change or, you know, a couple other things. The way things are done, sort of like carry out restaurants and, you know, there won't be as much dine-in, but that doesn't really change much really.

Vance Crowe [00:44:41] And has your, like grocery bill or other bills, have any of them been impacted by Coronavirus?

Lance Corbett [00:44:48] No, not at all. I've kept, I kept while I was working in a gym, and as a matter of fact, not, not my regular bills, but my income has changed because I was working at a gym, I was working at Blue Fire Fitness, which is over in Fairview Heights, and they shut down like, you know, just like, just like the Dojo did. And so that's kind of what kick started my landscaping, because it was like, I, I need to make some type of money still, you know what I mean? Like, they won't, you know, I need to come up with some type of money still, so pay my bills and stuff like that. I just got so lucky that Luke, who you've interviewed before, he needed some landscaping done. And I was like, Hey man, I've been doing this forever and I'll huff some rock for you. No problem. You know? And then it's kind of like sprinkled out from there and it's been really helping me. So my income source has changed. And as, but other than that, none of my bills have changed. My groceries is the same. Everything's been pretty much the same. It hasn't changed really much, you know?

Vance Crowe [00:46:04] And, and you've got plenty of work. There's plenty of people hiring right now

Lance Corbett [00:46:09] For the most part. For the most part. It's actually kind of exploded a little bit when it comes to landscaping. 'cause everybody's hanging out at home and nobody wants to

Vance Crowe [00:46:16] Gotta work.

Lance Corbett [00:46:17] Look at nobody wants to do the work, you know? And it's really nice too, because I can say, you know, you, you stay on the porch. You stay on the porch. If, if you, if you know, stay on the porch and just point and we can figure it out from there. We can stay 20 feet away. I don't, it doesn't matter.

Vance Crowe [00:46:34] Oh, do the, oh, that's fantastic man. And they gotta be so happy that they're so

Vance Crowe [00:46:38] Be so willing to just be like, go over there. Oh yeah.

Lance Corbett [00:46:41] Oh yeah. They'll sit on the porch with their beer or their lemonade or whatever they wanna drink or you know, say, Hey, can you put this bush here? Can you take this out and blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, no problem. Whoop, it's out here, we, here's a new thing. I'll be right back to get some more mulch or whatever. And I, it works out, you know? So, and it keeps that distance.

Vance Crowe [00:47:01] I mean, I gotta tell you that, I'm not kidding. I have talked about your photo of you after you'd hauled all that rock, you flexing your muscles and the next morning when I was lifting, I lifted heavier weights, I went more reps. 'cause I was like, damn, Lance is out there kicking ass and if I don't get ready, he's gonna annihilate me even worse. So I just wanted to say, man, it's inspirational what you're doing out there. Yeah. If people wanted to get ahold of you, they wanted to find you have some landscaping work or have a sparring partner, how would they go about that?

Lance Corbett [00:47:33] You'd find me on Facebook, you know, Lance Corbett. That's how you can find me. That's the best way to communicate with me. I've got my number, but messaging me on Facebook is, is really the best way.

Vance Crowe [00:47:46] Sounds great, man. I'll put a link in the show notes. That'd be great.

Lance Corbett [00:47:49] Yeah, I wanted to, I wanted to say something to you too. I appreciate you saying that because even though I post those things, it, I'm kind of taken aback that it's influencing people. You know, it's a pretty interesting dynamic to just make those posts and actually hear that you're making a difference. You know, like I make those posts and I'm just like, okay, this is what I'm doing today. You know, being accountable for myself. And I don't necessarily always realize the effect that I'm making on others. Like you, for instance, you know, you go out there and huffing your own stuff or you're lifting weights the next day thinking, you know, man, I could be doing better with what I'm doing. I don't always see that, you know, I don't always know that. I don't always hear that, you know, I don't necessarily think a pat on the back or an attaboy is important all the time. But it's interesting to, to, to get caught on the blind side from someone saying, you know, Hey, you're an inspiration for me to work a little bit harder to get that extra rep, to get that extra set to know. It's pretty cool to hear that. You know,

Vance Crowe [00:49:04] I think that's one of the, the lessons I learned in life is if somebody inspires you, if somebody is doing something that makes you go a little bit harder, makes you try, makes you think a little bit more, you gotta call that person. And you gotta tell them, because, you know, like you're just doing that and being like, I don't know, I feel compelled. Maybe it's your Damon, maybe it's a milestone to throw this thing up there, but those are the little tiny butterfly wing flaps

Vance Crowe [00:49:31] That make something else change that makes something else change, right? It's the positivity that you're putting into the world. I mean, like, and so I'm glad it makes a difference to you 'cause you made a difference to me.

Lance Corbett [00:49:41] Yeah. You know, and it's all a result of seeds that we plant, you know, it's all a result. That's, that's, you know, it's just like you said, the butterfly effect, you know, obviously I was planting a seed I didn't even realize I was planting. And here we are talking about all types of stuff, you know what I mean? Everything between juujitsu to Memphis to homelessness.

Vance Crowe [00:50:08] Yeah. You know what I mean?

Lance Corbett [00:50:09] Know what I mean? Like all types of stuff

Vance Crowe [00:50:10] And stoicism and, and morality and, and your code of ethics. I mean, that's why I think like the, the, the world is open to you if you, if all you have to do is find somebody and ask them, right? Like what, yeah. What is your motivation? What drives you? I think the most interesting question that one person can ask another person is what motivates you? And like, you trying to get away from your dark place, like it actually is one of those things where you're like, I, I don't know. Like when we roll together, the next time we're at the Jiujitsu gym, I get the benefit of knowing where your energy comes from, where your force comes from. Yes. So if you can sit down and find your sparring partners, your friends, your spouse, your kids, if you can figure out what, what, what is their energy source, the thing that powers them forward, then everything you do with them has more meaning.

Lance Corbett [00:51:01] Right? Yeah, that's true too. Because it's sort of like you can tap into that vibe, that overall vibe, you know, and within tap, tapping within that vibe with your presenting your own energy creates an entire new pathway of energy that can be bred into something, a whole new world.

Vance Crowe [00:51:25] You know, that's, and and like I, that is what coach with his, you know, BJJ Lifestyle Academy, that is what it is. He's bringing people together that would normally never interact. Yeah. Like you and I would never smash into one another. And then you do, and you watch what happens outta that. Like he is old school, one of the, one of the great martial artists. And man, I'm grateful to him that he introduced me to people like you.

Lance Corbett [00:51:51] Well, I'm grateful to him. I'm grateful to you as well. You know, it's my therapy.

Vance Crowe [00:52:01] We're good, man. Yeah, man. Well, I'd love to have you back on. I hope your business just keeps cranking along. I'll throw some show notes in there. I, you know, I got lots of stuff that I, I'll do with you around my house. We could do together. 'cause I can't have my pregnant wife out there doing stuff.

Lance Corbett [00:52:15] Yeah. Don't please keep her inside. Keep her out. Keep her inside.

Vance Crowe [00:52:20] Alright man, Lance, thanks so much for joining me.

Lance Corbett [00:52:23] Yeah, it was good seeing you.

Vance Crowe [00:52:26] Well it has been a really long time since I've just addressed you, but it is one of my favorite things to do. You know, before Coronavirus I was getting to put lessons on here to talk about how to become a tangibly better speaker. I was able to do these interviews and then in between when I would fly to some other city and do do a speech, well once Coronavirus hit, all of that changed. And for a while, all I was doing was exploring the world, trying to figure out how are we gonna do Zoom calls? What's the best way to do podcast interviews? How is my business going to change and transition? And I'm really, really excited to tell you that I trusted the idea of exploring, to be able to find something that would be worthwhile rather than just be like, Hey, I'm gonna rapidly change my business and try and make tiny changes. What I decided to do was I'm gonna explore for a while, and after using VR headsets and being on Zoom calls and using Skype and doing all of these podcast interviews, I've come to some conclusions about ways that you can run an online event that gives you the same feeling and sensation that you get by being in person. And now I know it's not gonna be the same thing, of course, like literally shaking a person's hand or getting to talk to people or give a hug to somebody that you only see once a year. You can't replicate that online. However, you can start to create the scenarios where two people can meet for the first time by video and they start to get to know one another and they realize this is the way that we can have a good conversation.

Vance Crowe [00:54:08] So the reason I'm so excited about this is because it's gonna be a fun way to transition a lot of the value of getting a group of people together the way that membership and industry groups have been doing for a long time. So if you're interested in hearing more about that, you can email me directlyVance@vancecrow.com or you can go to my website, which is very simply just vance crow.com. So I'm gonna wrap up because I don't want to tell you about a project I've been working on. I'm so close to starting to put something new and really exciting up for the listeners, for people that have reached out and said, we wanna support the podcast. I'm so close to getting something to release, but I don't want to talk about it until I've got it built. So she just rest assured to say, I am working in building some pretty cool things. I think you guys are gonna be excited about it. And really my ideas for doing this have all been prompted by listeners who are reaching out, talking to me on Twitter, shooting me messages on Facebook, even in the comments on YouTube. So this has been a great medium. I love, love, love talking to you guys. So make sure you, you're subscribing, you're telling people about the podcast. Let's get it spread out. Thanks so much. I'll see you guys later.