Dan Kloeckener: A Life on the Cutting Edge

About this episode

Vance sits down with his own hairstylist, Dan Kloeckener, to illustrate that "everyone you meet has exciting, interesting, and in-depth things to share." Dan narrates a wild arc: fine-dining waiter fueled by tips, drugs, and after-hours partying in his 20s, a pivot into cosmetology after a beach encounter with a friend, decades of secretly heavy weekend drinking that he hid from his wife for 30+ years, and eventual sobriety in his late 60s after recognizing himself in a rehab group. Along the way he recounts several "god wink" coincidences (a gunshot wound revealing a kidney tumor, a fishing trip lining up with a client's husband's death) and details writing a self-published shark-attack-prevention book, "The Jaws of Life." Vance repeatedly draws out the emotional undercurrents beneath Dan's tough-guy exterior, connecting his story of hiding pain with alcohol to broader themes of addiction, honesty, and self-reprogramming.

“I said, I'm gonna sell 'em on everything. I'm gonna sell 'em on appetizers, drinks, I'm gonna wine and dine 'em on bottles of wine... I'm gonna nail it and they're gonna love it.”

“Because you were, I was lying. Were you, well were you? 'cause I think one of the things that loops people in to drugs and alcohol in their everyday life is at first you are more fun to be around.”

“For 55 years I was lying and my wife for, for 38 years. She didn't even, or no, for 30 years she didn't even know I was drinking as bad as I was.”

Key moments

• Dan describes cutthroat tipping politics as a young waiter and his hustle to upsell wine and appetizers to survive on "deuces."
• Dan and Vance discuss cocaine and weed use among restaurant staff, including pricing and how the drug economy sustained itself.
• Dan's spontaneous pivot from waitering to cosmetology school after a friend casually mentions cutting hair for a living.
• Dan recounts nearly failing his beauty school licensing exam, saved by a vodka-and-orange-juice calming trick from his mother.
• Vance and Dan discuss "god winks" — a gunshot wound that accidentally revealed a kidney tumor, later removed with no cancer found.