AJ Reeves; a disciplined young man growing up in Saint Louis

About this episode

This is a role-reversal episode: rather than Vance interviewing a guest, AJ Reeves (an older friend from Vance's jiujitsu gym) turns the mic on a 24-year-old Vance Crowe, then working tire installation at Sam's Club while exploring web development, investing, and jiujitsu. The conversation is a portrait of a disciplined young man in transition — three deliberately chosen "hobbies" (mental, physical, financial), an early morning routine, budgeting and index-fund-style investing learned from YouTube rather than paid courses, and a track record of going deep rather than wide on pursuits (unlike AJ, who describes himself in his twenties as having explored broadly but shallowly). AJ draws out Vance's origin stories: an early love of reading sparked by a preschool tantrum over not being taught to read fast enough, a formative high-school English teacher, and the pull of MMA and neighborhood fear that led him into jiujitsu. The middle of the episode turns into a wide-ranging philosophical back-and-forth: AJ's own history (a ship-based ecotourism gig, a house flip, and a father who was a Peace Corps volunteer, Fulbright scholar in Ecuador, and world traveler before settling into a quiet small-town stockbroker life) frames a discussion of respect, fear of disappointing parents, and the difference between admiration and "slavery to who they think you should be." They discuss belt-system hierarchies as metaphors for underestimated expertise, the value of mistakes over "chaos" as the true source of knowledge, physical-therapy licensing bureaucracy in Missouri, and media/political tribalism (with a detour through Iran-conflict meme culture in January 2020). The episode closes on empathy versus "self-defense" in reading people's motives, how Vance handles public criticism and compliments, and career philosophy — the difference between "waiting" and "actively waiting" for the right path, and whether one's identity should be tied to a job versus a craft pursued outside of work.

“There are only a small number of people in the world that can roll with him and beat him... you also see like, we know what it took him to get there and he makes you go like, I don't know that I'm willing to do that.”

“My dad traveled all over the world before other people did it... he joined the Peace Corps... he has a Fulbright scholarship in Ecuador... then he came back after all that, met my mother... and had seven children... he does not fight to be a part of politics in our hometown. He's like a country stockbroker.”

“If you have an injury, your knee hurts... you have to first go to a doctor to get a prescription to be able to go see a physical therapist, despite the fact that the physical therapist has the same amount of education as the doctor... there are senators in the state of Missouri that have actively worked against being able to directly access a physical therapist.”

Key moments

• ~10%: Young Vance's three-hobby framework — one for the mind (web development), one for the body (jiujitsu), one for money (investing) — as a deliberate skill-building structure (craft, money).
• ~15%: AJ's raw admission of fear of never living up to his globe-trotting Peace Corps/Fulbright father, who chose a quiet small-town stockbroker life instead of politics (legacy).
• ~30%: Discussion of belt-system hierarchies in jiujitsu as a metaphor for underestimated expertise — years of grinding and ego death required for real mastery (craft).
• ~40%: The extended riff on their jiujitsu coach's mastery — what real skill acquisition costs in time, humility, and repeated losses (craft).
• ~44%: AJ's concrete, checkable grievance about Missouri physical-therapy licensing law requiring a doctor's prescription for treatment (institutions).
• ~52%: AJ's framing of partisan media consumption as tribal theater rather than information exchange (bubbles).
• ~63%: A detour through January 2020 Iran-conflict meme culture as an example of how quickly online tribalism forms around geopolitical events (bubbles, mob-adjacent but ultimately coded absent for mob).
• ~76%: AJ's reframe for handling public criticism — that critics are usually revealing their own fear rather than making a real claim about you (trust).
• ~88%: Closing discussion of "waiting" versus "actively waiting" for the right career path, and whether identity should be tied to a job or to a craft pursued outside of work (craft, legacy).

Notable quotes

“I was absolutely deathly terrified that I would not earn the respect of my father... he traveled all over the world before other people did it... and I'm also deathly afraid that my dad's gonna think that I'm wasting my time.”

“You have to first go to a doctor to get a prescription to be able to go see a physical therapist, despite the fact that the physical therapist has the same amount of education... there are senators in Missouri that have actively worked against direct access.”

“That's what our news media is now. They're just putting on a show... the people that are die hard, they know who those bad senators are on the other side... they aren't on your side.”

“I don't think of it that way... that person may be pointing this at you, but they don't actually care about you. They're afraid of something.”