I've been described as arrogant, abrasive, and condescending. Now what?

Take this seriously, but don't take it as a verdict on your character. Those three words are how non-engineers describe someone optimizing for accuracy over relationship in every exchange. You're probably right more often than the people saying this about you, but being right, delivered alone, reads as a power move even when you don't intend it as one.

The fix is not to get duller or hold back your actual assessment. Sharpness is your value. What's missing is two habits that let sharpness land as insight instead of insult: mirroring and steelmanning.

Mirroring is repeating back what you heard, as fairly and accurately as you can, before you respond to it. Do it, and the other person knows you took in their point. Skip it, and your correct answer feels like you weren't listening, just waiting to talk.

Steelmanning is arguing the other side's position better than they argued it themselves, out loud, before you disagree with it. That means understanding their point of view so well that you could make their argument for them. If you see opportunities to improve their argument, you improve them. You give their idea the benefit of the doubt at every turn, because you are trying to find the best argument their side could possibly make. Then, when you push back, you are not refuting a strawman or some diminished version of what they said. You are pushing back on the strongest version of their idea. You are giving charity to their idea, and they will give that same charity back to yours.

This does the heavy lifting on the reputation problem. Once a room has heard you make someone else's case stronger than they made it, your disagreement stops sounding like dismissal and starts sounding like judgment. People stop calling you arrogant once you've clearly shown you understood the best version of the alternative and still chose to disagree. Neither habit costs you correctness. You still get to say the sharp thing. You just say it after proving you understood, and that ordering is the entire difference between arrogant and respected.